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Psychic Healer Rianne Collignon's blog: filled with articles about her work, her services and spiritual and holistic topics
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Dear People,

The difference between surviving your life and really living it is amazing. To make sure you move from one state to the other it's important to understand your base needs and how to meet them. Some of them you might already know, while others might grant you more understanding or tell you to change your ways!

Base Need: Sleeping
For me, personally, the first base need is sleeping. If I don't get enough sleep, I can function for a long time, but I know I don't truly feel alive and I don't work effectively. There is nothing as nice as waking up refreshed and ready for the day. Whenever I'm out of sorts the first thing to bring me back to balance and to center myself is more or better quality sleep.

So, are you getting enough sleep? If you don't feel refreshed, don't wake up before your alarm and often feel tired, it's time to work on your sleep. Practice Sleep Hygiene: making sure you don't do much before going to bed with bright screens, make your bed a nice resting place, deal with your worries and take the appropriate amount of sleep.

If you don't get enough hours, please do check what you are spending your sleep hours on. Some people use them for relaxation (reading late, playing games, hobbies), some for work (bringing work home), some for exercising and some for household tasks. Reschedule your day so you can have enough sleep and you will notice increased energy and effectiveness. Sometimes that means you have to sleep 10 hrs for a week, but once you have dealt with your sleep deficit you will feel grateful.

Base Need: Sustenance
We all need to eat, but most of us aren't eating what we need. Short on time, we often eat junk food or food that isn't appropriate. We snack on a candy bar, forget our fruit and don't want to make the time to cook proper dinner. When we don't get what we need, we often feel lethargic or buzzed as we use uppers like coffee or sugar to make it through our day.

Make sure you get proper sustenance and check up on what your body needs. Plan dinners ahead on busy days, peel some fruit in advance or get some food that is right for you. You will notice increased energy and happier moods.

Base Need: Relaxation
We all need to relax and unwind. If you don't make time for relaxation, your stress levels increase and often your mind will find a way to relax that is sabotaging your goals. You might find yourself reading a book till 3am, watching silly TV shows that you don't care about that much or playing a game on your phone obsessively. That won't do for a happy life.

So find out what relaxes you mentally, emotionally and physically and schedule that regularly. Make time to unwind with friends, to exercise, to fantasize or to play. You will find that you are happier and more productive when you take a time out now and again.

Once you get those base needs met, you often will feel energetic and well, but like something is still missing in your life. So it's time to look at the second tier. You can't invest in those base needs unless your base is strong, so be sure to meet the requirements for the first three base needs.

Base Need: Fulfillment
We all need to feel like our life matters, like we are making a difference. This can be done in big ways with big sweeping gestures, but also in small ways by building a daily pattern. If we don't feel like what we do matters, we can't find contentment. Life will start to feel boring and empty.

Take time regularly to reflect on what you feel is right to do with your time and energy. Set goals and evaluate if and how you are reaching them. Enjoy and celebrate the goals you achieve.

Base Need: Growth or Adventure
Even when you are living a productive and happy life, setting goals, being in good physical, emotional and mental health, you will start to find your life boring soon enough. When we only walk within the lines, it starts to feel like a chore.

We all need to experience new things so we can grow and have a sense of adventure. Challenge yourself with new interests, talk with new people, take a holiday or eat at a new restaurant. You will soon find how it energizes you.

Want to discuss base needs with me or talk about what you feel you need in your life? Leave a message on the blog, the Facebook Fan Page or talk to me at the practice!

In 2016 I will start a new training based on getting your life happier, healthier and more in line with your spirit. Ask me about it or check the website.
Dear People,

I've had clients tell me that I have appeared in their dreams to help them or heal them and while I don't think it's very common, more and more clients are coming forward with their stories. So if you were too embarrassed to talk to me about it, don't be, you are not alone.

Dream help from me
There are two distinct ways that people have received help from me. One is where their subconscious just moves into a figure that they feel is helpful and I show up. Those dreams usually mean that there is a quality or behavior that your subconscious wants you to grow and you've seen that quality or behavior in me.


The second type is rarer: I truly show up. I've had dreams myself in which I visited others (and could accurately tell them how their house looked even though I'd never been there in the flesh) as well as people visiting me (where I would receive information). So, it is possible that I'm actually there and we are connected in this dream world, because you really needed my help.


Dream healing from me
When receiving Dream healing from me, people often describe healing techniques that I do use in the practice, but that aren't visible. For example one client dreamt about me making a form of cocoon around her and removing energy that didn't belong. When healing, I sometimes do use visualization techniques like a cocoon, but those are of course not visible to clients. I use cocoons to close, strengthen or heal the natural energy field.

So, if you had a dream about me and you have questions about it, don't hesitate to ask me in the practice, e-mail me or leave a comment on the Blog or Facebook Fan Page.
Dear People,

In our society it's easier to focus on what people accomplish, so it's easier to be constantly busy chasing goals and accomplishments. When we fall into that trap, we can become very critical of ourselves and it's becomes harder and harder to appreciate who we are. We are human being, not human doings. So if you feel like you have trouble appreciating you, read on!

Appreciation list
A great idea on how to appreciate yourself more is to make a list of all the qualities that you encompass and that make you (and probably other people) very happy. Be careful not to add in things that you do, but instead add in things that you are.

So don't write down: "I give to x charity", but do write down: "I'm a giving person" 

You'll be surprised how much things you can write down if you just take the time. If you have a harder time brainstorming, add in compliments you have received or look at role models you have and check which qualities you share.


Look at your list regularly to build appreciation for yourself and to check which qualities you want to grow. It takes the focus off deadlines and places it back where it belongs on growth and well-being.

Positive Self-Talk
It's so easy to slip into negative talk about what you don't like about yourself or what you think you should have done better. You might hear yourself talk negatively about your behavior, your body and your skills.

So, spend some time each day to talk positively about yourself. Give yourself a well meant compliment daily to create positive growth. Whenever you start hearing a negative put down, try to move it towards neutral or positive. Don't say: "I'm bad at X", but say "This time I didn't get the results I wanted" or "I'm learning how to do X and I will get better with time".

Gratitude
I'm sure many of you have done gratitude exercises already, but often we tend to be grateful for others or circumstances. Spend some time being grateful that you are you. Your unique talents are needed in this world.

Have something to add about appreciation or want to appreciate yourself more? Post a comment on the blog, Facebook Fan Page or talk to me in the practice.
Dear people,

The other day I talked with a client on what had changed for me over the years and I thought that since the practice is now almost 7,5 years it would be a good idea to share my answers on the blog. Looking back a lot has changed for me and it would be nice to revisit this question in a few years.

Changes in me
Truthfully, when I started, I thought I'd just do it for 3 months, then start back on my studies. I never thought I'd still be working so many years later. As such, as I wasn't a very smart business woman when I started. I started with a fee that wasn't sustainable, didn't know squat about promotion or advertising and basically only had the legal and administrative part sorted out. Oh, and I had a lovely space rented of course.

Sessions were a lot harder on me in the beginning, because I worried a lot on if I was doing it right, was being professional enough etc. etc. It took a while for me to find my feet and to start trusting myself and my skills. I also had a rough time at first with all the different directions I wanted to take the practice in. I worried a lot about financials.

Now, I feel like I build a practice that is starting to sustain me, makes me feel happy every day and I feel happy that I have the opportunity to make my own guidelines and work in the way that's right for me. I feel so blessed when I see great results and feel that I'm a positive influence in people's lives.

Changes in my gift
The more I use my intuitive gifts, the stronger they became. That means that in the beginning I needed to focus a lot more then I do now. I often even get "shouted at" so my intuitive voice is a lot stronger overall. Recently a client who went to the Reading Evening told me that my face shows I know the answer before the pendulum finishes spinning. It's true that I personally don't use a pendulum that much anymore. I tend to get the information in several ways now, but only some have grown stronger. The predictive dreams that I used to have, have diminished a bit because I receive so much information when I'm awake now.

As for the healing gifts, they have grown very fast indeed. I noticed a lot more energy flowing through me through the years. Getting faster and better results and even results on the physical plane this year. I used to say that I worked mainly on the emotional, mental and spiritual planes and that the physical will then usually fall in line. The extra energy that is created when the other 3 are balanced help balance the third. However, lately, I've noted that the physical is healing as well, meaning I get faster results, which is lovely.

I'm expecting more growth in my gifts and are very curious about what the future will bring. It opens up more ways to heal people and to see what's really at the root.

Changes in the practice
When I started I had a lot of things that looked great in theory but were difficult in practice. I split up different prices for different techniques, but in sessions that meant I had to calculate how long I worked with each technique to give the correct price. It was quite a hassle. I'm very happy with my current pricing structure: it ranges from free to several hundred euros and is very fair.

I've officially added the services I already did on the website, so people don't have to ask me if I work with kids, do house cleansings or parties. While I offer a wide range of services, I think that in the future, I'll have to pick and choose a bit more. While I love doing workshops, the time invested isn't always right for me.

I'm planning to make some changes in 2016, which will be put in the newsletter first. I'm still brainstorming about some things, but if you have something to add, please do talk to me about it.

Have a question for me? Ask me in the practice, on the Blog or Facebook Fan Page or e-mail me!
Dear People,

While it's wonderful to heal our own lives, we are all connected, so it's often very important to heal our network as well. Today I will be talking about Family Karma and healing our families. Often we already know that our core family (father, mother, siblings) isn't 100% healthy, because frankly, I haven't met any family who is. Healing your network has benefits for all.

Family Thought Patterns
If you look at your family you might see them struggling with the same theme. When a family struggles with a theme usually nobody has a healthy relationship with that theme, but all of them will acting out in extremes. For example if the family struggle is wealth (or money), some family members might be scrooges while others might be acting like any amount is small change. If the theme is work, some people might be workaholics while other family members are very unmotivated and could be considered slackers.

We often fall into extremes, because we either follow our parents pattern (extreme 1) or we rebel against it (extreme 2). Once such a family thought pattern is healed by us it often happens that other family members start on a path to healing as well. Sometimes because a good example allows them to follow us, sometimes because energetically the blockage is healed and they move forward as well.

Family Health Issues
While it seems that Family Health Issues are different from the thought patterns, often, they are not. I know a lot of people feel that they just got bad genes or that everybody in the family has this health issue, so it's likely they will get it too, but if you do heal the thought pattern it often reduces health issues or heals them completely.

So if you don't know a specific pattern, but you do see health issues, take some time to see what would exacerbate those issues and start healing those behavior patterns.

Family Health Exercise
Close your eyes
Breathe gently in and out
Imagine you and your family members in a circle
You are all holding hands and connecting together
Imagine your energy shining brightly
Allow healthy energy to flow through you and heal this issue within you
Then, when this energy is bright enough and strong enough, it's time to share it
Your gift to the family is erasing this family thought pattern/negative behavior/health issue
You are willing to share it with yourself and with others
You can see your light multiplying and shining in all your family members
Breath in and out until the light is clear for everybody
Gently open your eyes

Want to share your family karma or need help healing it? Talk to me in the practice, post a message on the blog or Facebook Fan Page or send me an e-mail.
Dear People,

Since I've mentioned that the emotional side of my work isn't the hardest part of my work, I would be amiss if I didn't mention what I do find difficult. Luckily for me, I love my clients, I love the work I do and I love making a positive difference. So what is difficult for me? This might be surprising but the answer is: Promotion!

The only difficulty: Promotion
I know that because I love the work I do, I should be happy to talk about my work for hours. It's true that I love talking about my work, but I don't discuss clients or their history and I don't always feel comfortable discussing everything I can do in the setting I'm asked. Often people will ask me what I 'see' concerning them. Since I'm good at what I do (Psychic Healing), my gift often focuses on what needs to be healed. That can be very confrontational and difficult at a time when people would rather do something else (celebrate on a birthday, promote themselves at a network meeting etc.).

I have seen miracles in my practice with my healing gifts and I'm really proud of the work I do, but I tend to hesitate to mention those to prospective clients. I guess I'm part of the under sell - over deliver crowd. I don't want to brag or toot my own horn. Sometimes that means I have trouble giving new clients a good idea of what they can expect from their work with me. I've started mentioning what I want to work towards though and often this is a lot more then clients were expecting. This is a very comfortable middle ground for me, but hasn't become a habit yet.

Another problem is that I do a lot of different things. When I tell prospective clients about my business, I tend to forget some of the services I offer (like house cleansing for example). For me, it seems like it all flows from the same source, however I have considered cutting back on options that are available. I'm still considering this, because whenever I need to promote my business it's hard to choose what I will talk about. I might consider dividing my services in different ways then I have before.

I also love working with businesses, but I never did any cold calling. I know I have a worthwhile service that would truly help transform some businesses. When people are back into balance, they are the most productive and the most happy employees you can wish for. I often see how stress reduction, better team work or leadership can make a world of difference. I also offer business reports and that really helps charting the right path and making the best of the opportunities available to businesses. However, promoting those services is difficult for me. I'm still brainstorming about what would work for me.

Luckily for me, I receive most of my clients by word of mouth, because I have many satisfied clients who adore the work I do and want to see others whole as well. I also received a lot of positive feedback and ideas from clients. I feel blessed that I have been on TV and would love more opportunities. Still, I want to grow, so I need to get my promotional vibe stronger!

Want to give me some good advice or do you have a great promotion idea? Post a comment on the blog, Facebook Fan Page or talk to me in the practice.
Dear People,

Today I'm writing on the topic that is very hard for a lot of people: taking the easy road. I remember vividly how I always used to choose the hard one. For a long time I felt that taking the hard road with sacrifices, blood, sweat and tears somehow made me superior. However, as people who take the hard road can attest it often doesn't lead to the best results.

Why we should take the easy road
We are often lead towards the easy road, which is the road that is right for us. The road that is right for us naturally becomes easy. We will receive aid (from many different people and from our guides, angels, the universe and God) making progress easily. The right road leaves us feeling fulfilled and happy. That doesn't mean that we don't find challenges on our way or have to confront parts of us that aren't healthy, but when we move forward, we find many rewards without falling into despair, extreme pain or other negative outcomes.

Why we don't take the easy road: Doing it on our own
A lot of times people don't take the easy road, because we feel that we need to do things on our own. This is quite strange, because every day when we wake up, we rely on other people. To make sure we have electricity and water, to make sure that we get paid, to make sure we can buy food. Everybody is interconnected and we all depend on each other. Also, all of us are being aided from the other side, regardless of beliefs. When we ask for help, we receive more, but we are never abandoned.

Yet for some reason, people still think that they need to do things alone. As if somehow, we get a merit badge for going in solo. Newsflash: we don't. Often, tackling things on our own that we could have done easier, more efficiently and healthier with help from other people, just leaves us tired, grumpy and strung out. It takes longer to reach our goals and our rewards and that means we spend more time in a situation that isn't right for us. So, whenever you feel you need to do things on your own, think carefully on if it's ego speaking....

Why we don't take the easy road: Thinking the hard road has more rewards
When I was younger I was quite romantic. I always thought that taking the hard road, salting the earth with my tears and hard work, would somehow give me better results. As if God would look down on me, saw how much I had sacrificed and then would reward me more. Sadly, that never happened. In fact, often, we have less rewards.

If you think back on how you tackled large things on your own, you will find that it's true, as slow progress means less rewards. And why would it be better to work extra hard in the first place? 

Why we don't take the easy road: Thinking we are slacking off
The saying: "Hard work is it's own reward" is insane when you think about it. Smart work has many rewards and has it's own reward too. We only have so much time in a day, so if we only work hard, we have no time to enjoy, relax and balance our lives. A lot of people feel that things can come 'too easy', but when you think about it, what's wrong about it? We get harder things in life quite often without looking for it, so why not easy things as well?

If you don't work hard, but work smart, you will have more rewards and you are definitely not slacking off.

Want to chime in on this topic? Post a comment on the blog, Facebook Fan Page or talk to me in the practice.
Dear People,

Often, it's hard for us to take a break, sleep enough or rest. I often see people rushing through their lives trying to do too much in just too little time. If we don't rest up, we can burn out, crash or keep feeling down and out for a very long time. So, to make sure your relationship with rest is healthy, do this quick exercise with reflection questions!

Question 1 Sleep:
Do you feel that you sleep enough? Do you feel healthy and rested in the morning? Do you take naps/need naps? Is the quality of your sleep excellent and if not, what can you do to improve it?
If you aren't sleeping enough, what are you doing?

One of the biggest drains in life isn't sleeping enough or sleeping badly. I've seen a lot of people who have late nights and early mornings and it simply doesn't work. There are so many sleep studies showing how effectiveness decreases without adequate sleep. Not everybody needs the same amount, but make sure you get yours almost every night. If your sleep needs are heavy (10+ hours) usually another problem needs to be addressed first.

Question 2: Breaks
How often do you break? Do you spend enough time eating lunch? Do you have small breaks during the day? What do you do in your breaks? Does that truly relax you or do you feel stressed out?

Taking a break is good. To make sure that you stay hydrated, to refresh your mind, to relax a little, to look at your work with fresh eyes etc. etc. Often, people neglect breaks thinking that if they have a lot of work they should keep on working. Studies however say that working in 45 minute chunks is the best for us. Our concentration lags if we try to work longer. So, take a break! Check in with your body, heart and mind so you make the right choices.

Question 3: Resting up after work
Do you take a break in the weekends or do you plan those full with work too? Do you take enough holidays? Do you take time to reflect and evaluate after big projects? Do you sometimes have 'nothing' to do? Do you have enough time that is peaceful, quiet or restful?


We can't live from high stress point to high stress point, yet many of us try. Make sure that you have a time to appreciate what you have done and enjoy a reward, before starting on a new project. If a project runs a few weeks or even months, it's important to take a break before starting another long stretch of work. That time can be used to rest, recharge and revitalize yourself and helps you enter the new project with the right frame of mind.

Work: Planning
If you noticed that your relationship with sleep, rest and relaxation isn't healthy, the biggest ally to solve this is: Planning. Plan times to relax in your daily routine. Plan enough time for sleep and relaxation.

If you feel that you can't seem to stretch your energy for what you need to do in a day, either decrease your workload or increase your energy. Take a good look at what the true problem is: are you expecting too much of yourself or are you too tired and do you need to recharge? Take appropriate measures!

Want to chime in on this topic? Post a comment on the blog, Facebook Fan Page or talk to me in the practice.
Dear People,

Recently one of my clients asked me why I don't speak much about future events in sessions. Many people know the stereotype of the Psychic who tells you you will meet a dark tall stranger or have three kids by 35. If they question those predictions they are often told that they need to be open to it. There are quite a few reasons on why I don't work that way, but here are the most important ones.

Telling people the future is often not helpful
If I do see you married with three kids by 35, telling you that future is often not helpful. What are you going to do now that you are 25? Wait a few years? Sit in your hands? Keep your eye out for the person I described instead of living your life and experiencing it? Fearing that you miss out if you fall in love with somebody else?

I personally feel that the things I say in sessions should be helpful. It's important that you keep the agency in your own life, that you are in charge, deciding how to live your life. When you are in charge, you can listen at any time to everybody and decide on your own if you want to take their counsel and advice or not. If you aren't in charge or want to put me in charge, you feel dependent on my counsel or approval and that is a very unhealthy dynamic in my eyes.

Sometimes however, telling people about their future is helpful. Here are two examples:
  1. I've told somebody that I was certain that she'd have a child and it helped her in a difficult IVF journey, even though she had trouble believing me. In the darkest times when she thought that she was doing it all for nothing, she remembered what I said and it gave her some solace. She has a lovely child now.
  2. I told a client who was worried about finishing her studies that she'd not be working in them, as the field wasn't a right fit for her and she'd be working with older children/teenagers soon. She dismissed me as she had no qualifications for working with children, but when an opportunity arose a few months later, she remember my counsel. It reduced her anxiety about starting something completely new and she loved her new job.
There are more important things then talking about the future
While I can imagine we all would like to know about the beautiful highlight of our lives, I always prepare sessions asking what's most important keeping the clients highest good in mind. Often I'm asked to remove old blockages, discuss behavior and talk about what's important in their lives.

While I'd love to do everything in a session, I always have to make choices. Since I know that the future will change based upon how clients change during sessions, predictions about the future are usually done when we near the end of the healing stage. This ties back into what I wrote in the article: "Why do I need to heal first?"

What if I do want advice on my future?
I have no problem giving you advice on your future, as long as you keep the following in mind: I see the future, but the accuracy of the predictions isn't always the same. For me the future is like a river, which can flow in many different directions, based on your choices, but some things are like rocks, you will always meet them as they divert the flow of your river. The further away I look, the harder it is to see the flow, but I will always still see the rocks.

You can ask broad (what's going to happen in the next 2 months) or specific (what do you see happening in my relationship with X") questions. The more specific you get and the smaller the time frame (weeks instead of months) of the question chosen, the higher your chances of excellent results. If I get an unclear answer or no answer, I will always tell you.

So if you do want to advice on your future or work with me to make better choices, just request a Reading. Don't be surprised however, if your Reading shows you that you need to take care of other business first!

Want to discuss this article? Post a comment on the blog, Facebook Fan Page or talk to me in the practice.






Dear People,

We all want somebody else to step up sometimes, by which we mean take the role we want them to take: being their best selves. We often don't acknowledge where we need to step up, because staying small is comfortable and familiar. So today I'm going to write about stepping up yourself and being committed to who you are and a simple exercise that you can do see where you need to step up.

Stepping up
Stepping up is very important, because we all agree that living to your fullest potential is something to strive for. Even so, I don't often see people stepping up and evolving beyond their comfort zone. It's no wonder when we have sayings like: "Don't rock the boat". Change can be frightening and it's sometimes hard to move forward even when we know it's very rewarding.

Around the start of the new year or around their birthday is often the time when people start thinking about stepping up as they think on what they intend to do with their year. I prefer doing the following exercise a few times a year to clear a path for myself and invite you to join me.

Exercise; Stepping up
For this exercise you need to have a pen, some paper and some quiet time. I prefer to answer the questions on a different sheet of paper, so I can see where I need to step up the most, but you can write the answers down however you like. You can take around 5-10 minutes to answer each question.

Question 1: Do I need to step up in my self care?
Sub questions: Do I sleep enough? Do I eat the right things? Do I relax enough? Do I engage in activities that make me feel happy, make me grow and excite me? Do I feel happy, healthy and whole? Do I have time problems (not enough time, doing things at odd hours etc.) or planning problems (always feeling stressed, feeling behind on many issues etc.) that need to be addressed?

Once you have finished answering those questions, outline an affirmation based on your answers and/or make a plan to address what needs to be done. 

Question 2: Do I need to step up in my personal relationships?
Sub questions: Do I make my boundaries clear? Does everybody treat me how I want to be treated? If they don't, do they face consequences? Do I feel every bond is positive and if not, what can I do to make the situation better? Do I have resentments or problems with people that I haven't addressed?

Once you have finished answering those questions, outline an affirmation based on your answers or make a plan to address what needs to be done.

Question 3: Do I need to step up in my professional life?
Sub questions: Does my job still fulfil me? Do I get along with colleagues and clients? Do I like almost all aspects of my job and if not is there a possibility to change that? Do I feel like I'm growing towards something or am I at a dead end? Am I satisfied with my job? Do I like the environment I work in?

Once you have finished answering those questions, outline an affirmation based on your answers or make a plan to address what needs to be done.

Question 4: Do I need to step up in my spiritual life?
Sub questions: Do I feel that I'm on track? Am I still growing and evolving? Is there something I know I need to do and haven't? Have I've been exploring new area's? Have I forgiven slights against me? Do I have healthy energy? Am I committed to my Soul? Do I feel like I'm loved and cared for?

Once you have finished answering those questions, outline an affirmation based on your answers or make a plan to address what needs to be done.

After you are done, take a good look on where you need to step up and revisit your answers and your plan in 2-3 weeks. You will be surprised with how much energy you gain by stepping up. Remember, don't try to plan everything at once. Making changes costs a lot of energy too.

If you have any problem stepping up or feel like you can't keep to your plan, don't hesitate to contact me to discuss options. Want to share your answers from this exercise? Comment on the blog or on the Facebook Fan Page.
Dear People,

I have been asked if I believe in curses and if I do, if I can remove them. In Dutch culture many people don't believe in curse energy, but in most Asian cultures it's considered truth. For me personally, I often wonder, how can you believe in positive energy, but not in negative energy?
Life is balanced so both types of energy exist.

Negative energy & curses
Negative energy is energy that robs us of energy, life, joy and other positive energies and it will often knock us out of balance or into negative behavior. It can be felt when we do something that's wrong for us, when traumatic things happen to us, but also, when another person sends negative energy to us and we accept this energy.

Just like we send positive energy (well wishes, prayers, positive intention) out into the world, sometimes we send negative energy (angry thoughts, curses, negative intention). Most of the time we can be pretty careless and we won't send much or for a prolonged time, but sometimes we do (due to jealousy or wanting the other person to be punished). When we do send out negative energy it does take a lot out of us and most of the time, we do feel guilty  and we will attract more negativity into our own lives as well. If we go as far as trying to curse another person (consciously or subconsciously) we will notice negative aspects in our own lives as well.

Reducing Negative energy
If you feel you are only focused on the negative or that you might have been experiencing negative energy sent to you,  you can do several things to place your focus back on the positive like for example:
  • Gratitude exercises
  • Releasing exercises
  • Grounding exercises
  • Positivity exercises
  • Pampering yourself
  • Activities that bring you joy
  • Helping another person
  • Forgiveness exercises (if you are the one sending out negative energy)
My favorite way of placing my focus back where it belong is to ask simply to be shown the lesson.
I ask the following questions:
  1. Why am I feeling negative? 
  2. Why is this happening in my life? 
  3. What is my part in creating this experience?
  4. What do I need to learn?
  5. What do I need to move on and only take the lesson with me?
Removing curses
A curse is negative energy send to us with the intent to harm. However, I believe it's true that a part of us needs to accept the curse. When we don't, this negative energy is harmless. It's possible to heal your energy field and shield from new curses and to remove existing curses. So if you believe that you are being targeted or that you are in a pattern of bad luck indicative of a curse, it's time to clear your energy.

Once you do feel that curse energy is already at work, you can ask your guides, angels, God or the Universe to cleanse out this energy and to return you to balance. Remove all guilt, shame or other negative thoughts that can allow curse energy to work through you and start feeling grace. We all make mistakes, but we don't need to be punished for them.

If you feel that somebody is always sending out negativity (by making hurtful remarks or with other actions) and you can't remove yourself from the situation (boss, colleague or family members) you can do shielding exercises.

Whenever people feel that they are still not in the clear - I usually connect to their energy field and feel what's going on. Sometimes I feel active curse energy or a weak spot in the energy field, sometimes I feel that guilt or shame needs to be removed, but there is almost always something to be removed. Since curse energy is felt so easily, it usually means people take steps to remove it.

Have a question or want to share your story about feeling negative or curse energy? Talk to me in the practice or leave a message on the blog, Facebook Fan Page or contact me by e-mail.

We all get infected with the tired bug sometimes. Too tired to do what we want to do, too tired to deal with a situation, too tired to get out of bed... tiredness infects a lot of people's lives so today I will talk about how to beat this bug! Surprise: it's not doing nothing and sleeping more.

What kind of tiredness do you have?
A lot of people only know one type of tiredness: complete exhaustion. They often only get there once in a blue moon or when they are sick. It also seems to have only one solution: sleep or bed rest. While this works wonders for complete exhaustion it's won't do much for other types of tiredness.

Tiredness types:
  • Spiritual tiredness
  • Mental tiredness
  • Emotional tiredness
  • Physical tiredness
Spiritual Tiredness
Spiritual tiredness usually manifests in a certain type of deadness. We don't feel like your life has direction, we don't feel fulfilled, we don't feel truly happy or grateful. We tend to feel like our lives have no purpose and we don't exactly know how to deal with that. It's this weird almost bored like feeling.

Most people deal with spiritual tiredness by doing nothing, hiding it and holding on to parts of their life that aren't working. It's hard to get out of our comfort zone. Sometimes people make massive changes, but see little to no results in happiness or contentment.

Exercise:
Find your Passion.
  • Imagine you are waving a magic wand into your life, what would you change? 
  • What would fill you with wonder? 
  • What would give you purpose? 
  • What would you need money for or what people do you need to meet? 
Make plans with concrete steps after your brainstorm.
If can't seem to connect to your passion and you keep feeling purposeless, ask for help.

Mental Tiredness
Mental tiredness usually means that we have been worrying or thinking too much or that our body is out of balance. We don't feel like doing the things we consider 'harder' or that require more mental energy. We don't feel like brainstorming or solving anything and problems tend to feel very big.  It's often also hard to be flexible, because we can't seem to find solutions on the fly.

Most people try to recharge their mental batteries by doing what I affectionately call zombie-activities. The kind of things that have your brain on standby like flipping through magazines, being on the internet or watching some TV programs. While this can help reduce mental stress, it usually isn't enough to recharge.

Exercise:
Find activities that are mentally stimulating but recharge you or start focusing on the physical/emotional plane to recharge your mental batteries.

Good suggestions are:
  • Meditation
  • Yoga
  • Physical Exercise (clearing your head!)
  • Creative tasks (coloring, painting, etc.)
  • Watching a documentary
  • Reading a book
Emotional Tiredness
Emotional tiredness tends to manifest in feeling emotionally empty (all cried out) or feeling like you have little control of your emotions (crying, angry outbursts). Feeling overwhelmed, wanting to just crawl into bed and not come out are all signs of emotional tiredness.

Most people try to find emotional balance by either releasing stress and emotions or by being a bit more introverted until things pass. Sometimes however that's not enough, especially not if the emotional tiredness is a response to a big trauma.
Exercise:
First decide how long this has been going on and if you need help to deal with trauma or not. If you feel you want to give it a try yourself first, give yourself a deadline and goal points so you can accurately assess if what you are doing is helping or not. 
If you are trying yourself, good exercises to release and balance emotions are:
  • Talking to a friend
  • Writing out your feelings in a journal
  • EFT
  • Releasing visualisations
  • Pampering yourself
Physical Tiredness
Emotional Physical tiredness is easy to recognize: we all know that feeling in our bones.

Most people try to rest up or sleep to deal with physical tiredness. If you keep feeling antsy, you might want to consider balancing your body with exercise or a massage to get back in tune with it. If that doesn't give adequate results, it's very likely that you have a different type of tiredness as well and you need to deal with that before the physical tiredness can be healed.
Want help to deal with your tiredness or share your story? Comment on the blog or Facebook Fan Page, contact me by e-mail or talk to me to discuss options like booking a session or doing a detox program.


Dear People,

Life can be busy and frustrating and it's often very simple to complain and focus on the negative. So, for today I thought I'd discuss blessing your day. It means accepting what comes to you that day, taking the good and releasing the bad. If you do it now and again you will start seeing a lot more smiles, including your own.

Reasons for blessing your day
Well, why not? Why not share blessings with yourself and others? Why not create smiles, positivity and joy? It's hard to do it every day, because we are human. We like to complain now and again. It's easier to keep the focus on ourselves instead of on others, even though we are all connected.

Blessing your day is a sure fire way to get out of your funk and to start energy flowing again. It's a great way to rebalance and refocus and a great gift to yourself and others.

Blessing your day exercise:

The Do's:
  1. Gratitude, be grateful for everything that is there today. For your bed, for your breakfast, for the people you meet, for the things you are able to do... etc.
  2. Kindness, be kind to yourself and others. Smile to yourself in the mirror while brushing your teeth, smile at others in the street or in traffic and to your co-workers
  3. "Small" Acts of Service, help others out with tasks or ask if they need a hand. It might feel small for you but it might make a difference in somebodies life.
  4. Bless everybody, consciously give out the intention that you wish good to happen (don't forget to include yourself). 
  5. Bless all situations, even those you find difficult or annoying
The Don'ts:
  1. Don't complain, if you hear yourself speak negatively change the subject while silently blessing the mess.   
  2. Don't worry. If you start getting anxious, bless the situation and let it resolve
It sounds simple but it's harder to do then you think. However, even doing it for a few hours will allow you to move into a more positive and gentle way of living so it's very much worth it.

Want to share your experience or discuss this exercise? Post a message on the blog, Facebook Fan Page, e-mail me or discuss it with me in the practice.
Dear People,

Recently somebody asked me about her house cleansing as she saw and heard that a lot of people who do house cleansing use different techniques. She noticed that a lot of people advertise that they work with Sage, which is a wonderful cleansing agent, which is usually burned. So, today I'm talking about the different cleansing agents that I know.

Familiar cleansing tools
As far as I know, everybody who does house cleansing first of all uses intent as a powerful tool to make sure the house is energetically clean. Some people will speak affirmations, some people will pray and some people will have the silent intent as a focus in their minds. This helps remove negative energy quickly.

Then, if there are particular spots that keep feeling troublesome, I usually use my Psychic Gifts to see what type of energy is present and why it's there. Sometimes there are people who are deceased present, sometimes there are confused (or negative) entities and sometimes it's left over energy from traumatic events or disturbances that build up. Depending on what it's there I respectfully ask for help to move them on to the next phase, pass on messages, ask them to appear in different zones or in different ways or ask for help to cleanse the area.

When cleansing, if I want to achieve a clearer feel, I usually use water. I sprinkle it around, allowing it to magnify positivity and clean out what's there. If energy is unusually oppressive or if I feel it's needed I might use incense like sage or other types to cleanse the area or use my singing bowl. Sometimes I ask people to keep the window open for a bit to cleanse with air and to make sure the energy actually exits the house if it can't be easily removed.

Sometimes, after cleansing the feeling of the area has calmed, but doesn't feel sufficiently positive and nice so then I use light or candles for a softer and gentler vibe.

These are my experiences and my techniques and I'm sure other people use different techniques to cleanse and find out what works for them. Personally, I'm not always a fan of using incense, mostly because of the fact that some people are allergic, some people do not like the smell and some people don't want other roommates to know that they had a cleansing done.

Want to share your house cleansing technique ask me questions about my work? Just ask me in the practice, on the blog, Facebook Fan Page or by e-mail.
Dear People,

Sometimes questions surprise me, but I never mind answering them unless I feel they are too personal. Am I religious? Yes. I consider myself Roman Catholic, even though I don't always agree with the pope or the church. I don't go to church as often as I would like - mostly due to family obligations and health reasons.

I'm not that much of fan of Mass I admit, I prefer my religious experience to be more personal, so you will find me more often at the small chapel in Delft that is connected to the Maria van Jesse Church. I prefer to spend some time for worship there, pray and sometimes I write in the prayer book that is there. I also sometimes pray for those who have written before me. I tend to light candles for those who have passed, those who are in trouble and those that I love and asked that they be sheltered, reminded that they are loved and aided in their goals.

When I'm abroad, I always visit churches and not only Roman Catholic churches. It's become a ritual to light candles (if possible), to leave money for churches and to buy a rosary. I've been to famous one's (Notre dame, Sacré-Cœur, Berliner Dom etc.) but also to obscure monasteries in Crete for example. I have also visited Fátima and would love to visit Santiago de Compostela and Lourdes.
I find it important to have space in my life for service, for the knowledge that we are all connected, for recognition of God.

At home, I have some small symbols of the fact that I'm religious, like a statue of a saint, statues of angels, icons and pictures of Mary. I also listen to christian music. Kutless - What Faith can do is my favorite at the moment. One of my tea mugs just got chipped which had the saying: "With Faith in God we can achieve everything that we believe from R. Fogle" on it.

I'm respectful of other people's beliefs so at the practice I often say: "God/Higher Power/Higher Self", but in my personal life I just say God. One of my friends once joked that he feels I'm a bad Christian because I don't proselytize, I don't go to church that often, I don't judge others and I don't have a holier-then-thou attitude. He says I'm just too busy being tolerant, loving and kind. Sometimes it surprises me what other people think a (good) Christian is.

My favorite prayer is: "Let me release everything but the truth (aka release my ego, my fears, my baggage etc.), work through me to bring Your Will into this world (love, peace, understanding, healing etc.). Let me be Your instrument." I often pray before meals and then I pray a variation of: "Thank You for this meal, this sustenance, this bounty, thank You for the people I'm sharing it with". I've always believed that God is not Santa or Sinterklaas, so I never pray for things I want. I pray for understanding, for faith, for aid etc.

Often, people ask me how I reconcile beliefs they have with Christianity. Frequently I'm asked about how I say I'm a Psychic as somehow that's not Christian according to the person asking me. The Bible is of course full of people having visions like for example the story of Joseph. I do believe my gifts have come from God, because I've come from God and if I wasn't meant to use them, I would have found that out real quickly. Instead, my life and those of others have been incredibly enriched since I started my practice, so I do feel it's God's plan for me.

The other question that comes up often is how I reconcile karma with Christianity. Often in the western world Karma is seen as "you deserved it", when bad things happen and that doesn't reconcile with the idea of a loving God. This isn't how I understand the concept of Karma, but if that's people's understanding I often explain with the following example:
"As a parent, you can be loving when you say no, you can be loving when you feel your child just has to experience something after you told them many times it's wrong as that's the only way they will learn and you can be loving when you forbid things."
I believe that God wants us all to be happy, healthy and to succeed, but we often don't listen and then our expectations are dashed and we do get hurt. Just like children sometimes don't listen to their parents. It isn't the parent or the child's fault, just an integral part of learning. The Spiritual idea of: Every experience has a lesson" comes from that. When we learn what works for us and we listen to God, we are creating happy, positive and beautiful lives.

Want to talk about religion? Post a comment on the Blog, the Facebook Fan Page or talk to me at the practice.
Dear People,

It's often very hard to take care of yourself, let alone the person you are going to be in the future. Yet, when we do this, our lives will be immeasurably easier. So today I'm going to talk to you about why we should do this and how we can do it easily.

Working for Future You
Future you has to take care of all the things that you, in the now, aren't doing and that need to be done. If you plan to go to bed right now and your dishes aren't done, future you has to do them. When you are playing a game and enjoying yourself but forgetting the time, future you will wake up with not enough sleep for the next day or will oversleep.

Everything we do today, will impact our tomorrow. We often recognize this, so we can choose if we want that impact or not. We might agree to have a little less sleep to have a little more fun. However, most people don't realize that it's we can also use this cause and effect to make our lives so much easier and to practice gratitude work.

Simple things to do for Future You
  • Rinse the dish you just brought to the kitchen, so future you doesn't have to scrub so much
  • Pack your bag in the evening, so future you can easily leave in the morning
  • Plan your day or week or month in advance, so future you has a quick overview and can work more effectively
  • Take a 10 minute walk through your house before bed, so future you wakes up in a cleaner home and can easily do dishes, take out trash or other household tasks
  • Plan easy meals or cook in advance and freeze them, so future you can eat easily and healthy on busy days
  • Stack your mail together, so future you can easily pay bills at the end of the week 
Understanding Past You
For most people, past you is a bum. It's the person who didn't do the dishes, forgot to take the trash out, left the bills for too long etc. etc. It's past you's fault that your administration is 3 months behind and you are having trouble finding that receipt to file your taxes. It's past you's fault that your house is a mess and that you feel overwhelmed and are unable to clean. It's past you's fault that you didn't make your new years resolutions and that you hardly ever see your friends.

So, take a deep breath, and forgive past you. There is a reason why things are behind or not up to snuff. There is a reason why you feel overwhelmed. A simple step plan can help you sort out how to make sure that the new past you is going to be a lovely caring supportive person. It's going to help Future You be grateful for past you.

Simple step plan to transform past you:
  • Recognize what isn't done that would make your life easier. It might be a better cleaner more organized household, it might be more time for social activities, it might be finally finishing that degree etc. etc.
  • Look at underlying reasons it wasn't done: do you prioritize fun, are you overwhelmed, do you know where to start, do you need help, are you often too tired
  • Take action to fix underlying reasons (with help or not)
  • Start fixing that what needs to be done
  • Thank Past You every time your life is easier 
It's also important to accept Past You. If Past You tends to not put stuff back where it belongs, maybe you need to find a better spot. If Past You tends to be overly tired, find some time and space to rest up. If Past You hates certain tasks it might be better to pay somebody else to do them or to reward yourself.
Today's You
So for today - recognize where you are at. Recognize that future you needs your support, that past you needs your understanding, to make your life the best it can be. Take care of all of yourselves!

Want to discuss this article or need help to understand past you or support future you, leave a message on the blog or Facebook Fan Page, send me an e-mail or talk to me in the practice.
Dear People,

Many people believe that the hardest part of my work is that I deal with heavy emotional issues with clients. Since they feel how difficult their sessions can be, they often wonder how I deal with it on a daily basis. While I do answer heavy questions or have to help heal difficult physical, emotional or mental issues, I have a very good self care routine so this certainly isn't the hardest part for me. So let me tell you about what I encounter and what my self care routine is.

Client issues
I have known a lot of Tarot Readers and Psychics who get clients who are just curious or who are looking for some advice on smaller issues. While I do get smaller questions sometimes and I definitely do not mind helping people who are just curious about their future, I tend to attract people who need more help. I believe this is because I consider my healing gift the important one and the Psychic gift secondary. I believe I attract people who really need me and whose life I touch in often very profound ways.

Examples of real issues in my practice:
  • Heavy physical issues like cancer and ALS
  • Heavy mental issues like depression, schizophrenia and autism
  • Heavy emotional issues like sexual abuse and starting IVF treatments
  • Heavy decisions like ending a relationship or not, emigrating or not and changing careers
Step 1 in Self Care: Responsibility
The absolute first thing I needed to learn was that while I can help people heal, I can help people confront truth and I can help people make better choices, but it's all up to them in the end. I can tell them the truth in 100 different ways - if they don't want to listen, they won't. I can offer free healing sessions, but if they don't want to take them, they won't.

So the number one rule for me is that I know I'm only responsible for what I do during sessions, I'm not responsible for the life of my clients, I'm not responsible for their choices, I'm not responsible for them.

This effectively means that I keep reminding myself that my clients keep their agency, their power, and I have none in their lives. That they need to make their own mistakes, carve their own path and live their own lives.

It doesn't mean I'm not human. I'm very sad to see people who I care about make mistakes. I'm very sad when consequences of choices are brutal and have lasting effects. I however, don't feel guilty. I don't second guess what I could have/should have said or done. I don't worry about how I should upgrade myself to do better in the future. I leave the responsibility where it belongs: with the client.

Step 2 in Self Care: Release
Sessions can become very emotional, very raw and very upsetting. It's never nice to see a person hurting and I would be made of stone of it didn't effect me. However, I can't allow it to effect me for longer then a few minutes. If it did, I couldn't do my job, I'd be crying next to you instead of helping you release it. I'd be upset from the previous session instead of giving you my best.

I always tell my clients who ask how I can release so easily that I'm actually a trash can without a bottom. That means I do feel the energy, I do feel the emotions, but I allow them to pass through me immediately. No bottom means I keep nothing in me and nothing that isn't mine sticks to me.

I also usually have 10 minutes between sessions, so if I do notice I'm a bit upset still or that I'm not back in my own power, not centered or not grounded, I do some extra release for myself. It's very rare that it's necessary, but I'm not yet a perfect trash can. When I don't have that time when a particularly heavy session runs late, I sometimes ask clients if I can have a minute or two to do that and of course allow their session to run a little later too. I also regularly shower after my last session when I'm back home if it was a particularly heavy one.

Step 3 in Self Care: Gratitude
I'm very grateful for the work I am able to do. I'm very grateful for the positive changes I'm helping into being in people's lives and in the world. I often remind myself that my work is fulfilling and making a difference. After sessions I'm often energetic, happy and balanced. Working with so much energy is right for me.

So yes, I do take time to thank my clients, in my mind, heart and spirit. Sometimes when my calendar is full and I'm a bit swamped, I spend time thanking each of the clients who have sessions with me booked. I know I'm going to be glad to see them, glad that they are making positive changes.

When my calendar is empty, I focus on being open for new things, sometimes that means new clients, sometimes that means new workshops, new brainstorms, new ideas, sometimes that means a day off, some work at home, some social time, some relaxing etc.

So no, the emotional side of my work isn't the hardest part by a mile. I don't struggle with it as my routine is pretty natural by now as I've been doing this work for 7 years now. I'm glad that I don't face burnout, which I've seen a lot of people go through. I'd be sure to write about what really is the hardest part of my work in an article soon. I'm sure it will be funny to some of you!

Don't hesitate to ask me questions about my work in the practice, on the blog, Facebook Fan Page or by e-mail. I'm always happy to talk.


Dear People,

Recently I discussed with a client that it's important to surround yourself with the right people. While she understood the importance of that, she wondered how she could determine who is a good fit and who isn't. I thought that was an excellent question and decided to write an article about it.

Usual Progression in friendships through life
What I usually see is that most young children tend to have friends who are available like classmates or neighboring kids. They want to spend some time and don't have the opportunity to meet a lot of different people. When they grow up - start to have hobbies, go to different schools - again availability is important, but so is having the same interests. A wider group of people becomes available and so we form bonds with people who interest us. Then life diverges as some get married or start working, have kids, get a divorce and just live their lives. We start becoming closer to some people, find and meet new people, and drift apart from others.

We end up with a mixed group of friends whom we know from different stages in our lives. Not everybody in your life is meant to stay in it forever. The common thread of the people that stay in our lives is usually that we can rely on them, that they feel the same as we do on core principles that matter to us and that we can resolve conflict with them. They bring positivity in our lives and we bring positivity to them.

What if I am not left with a group of friends that brings positivity?
Sometimes people try to keep friendships going long past their time. They keep trying to keep from drifting apart or keep things together even through nasty conflicts. Usually these bonds feel uneven (I invest more time/energy/effort) and painful (I'm regularly hurt by their actions). If that sounds like a bond you have in your life, ask yourself why and start actively letting go.

Some questions to answer for yourself:
  • Is it because the only way for you to end a friendship is with a major bang? 
  • A big fight that means you don't want to speak to somebody ever again? 
  • Is it because you try to hang on to somebody, trying to be somebody you are not? 
  • Are you faking it? 
  • Do you think you have to keep on forgiving for the sake of a long friendship? 
  • Do you have expectations that are too much for the other person?
Remember, a successful friendship is not one that has lasted x years, a successful friendship is one in which you can grow, feel energized and happy, supported and loved. Yes you will have disagreements, but they are solved and make your friendship stronger and deeper.

I wrote an earlier article on how to balance relationships and relationship expectations here. You can use it to help bring your relationships back to positivity or to see when it's really time to let somebody go.

What if I am not left with a group of friends?
Sometimes due to life circumstances like moving or illness we don't manage to keep our friendships alive. People drop off because your life has turned too difficult or you can't invest your time and energy. Now you have a huge gap where your social circle used to be. Don't worry - a lot of people have or have had this problem.

Firstly, don't try to immediately fit somebody into your life full time. While you have a gap and time to meet up many times, treat this new person as if you have a full friend circle. Meet up with them a few times with a reasonable time frame between those times to see what they are like.

Secondly, treat them like a new friend - don't immediately start asking for a lot of support or understanding. That can be very off putting while somebody is trying to get to know you. Let the friendship grow organically. Recognize that not all your needs will be met with just one person or within a short time frame.

Thirdly, keep on adding to your acquaintance circle by going out and doing interesting things and meeting new people. Start new hobbies, open yourself up to new experiences, go to meet up groups and just enjoy life. Gradually people will fall away and other people will bond deeper with you. I recommend this to people who have a full friend circle too - as new friendships are beautiful and old friendships sometimes end.

What if I feel I'm missing a certain type of friend?
We all have this ideal life in which we have the type of friend who has the same interest as us. Suppose you are passionate about cooking or spiritual practice or about any other interest, and it so happens that none of your friends are. That can make you feel lonely and isolated, as you can't share something you think is a major part of your life.

So, it's time to make room for a friend that shares your interests. The first question to ask is: is there room in your life? As long as your time, energy and effort goes into deadbeat friendships, probably not. So first, make room, even if it makes you feel even lonelier.

Secondly, if you have good friends, don't be shy about asking them to join you in your interest now and again. Sure, they might not be so passionate about cooking, but asking them to come sample some of your dishes or to took together one time is sure to go over well. Ask them to join you in your hobby or go to a lecture on something you are interested in and they might be. Just as sometimes you join them into an activity that doesn't truly appeal to you - your friends are bound to do the same.

Thirdly, no friend will come around to fit the exact hole you feel in your life. People are people, and nobody will fit your ideal. If you want to meet up people with the same interest, it's time to look for them. Don't look for a friend, look for interesting acquaintances and see who you bond deeper with. Go alone to those interesting lectures or group activities and just chat.

Why do I bond deeper with some people and not with others?
A lot of people will tell me that they like having friends who are radically different then they are - as it promotes growth. A different view point keeps things interesting. I agree, but what I see in bonding is that we have a type of underlying principles that are the same. That doesn't mean that the interests however are the same or that the people are the same.

A good rule of thumb is: if you can compromise or don't feel deeply hurt then it's not a principle for you and it's fine when your friend or partner feels and acts differently. If it is a principle for you, be sure to communicate clearly on how important it is to you and what it means to you and then see if the other person is willing and able to compromise. If not, please let each other go and don't wound each other.

Some examples:
You can be friends with somebody who has a radically different political beliefs. But only if neither of you view those beliefs as an integral part of yourself and both of you can agree on being tolerant about it. Politics are the interest, the principle is tolerance and neither feel the principle is politics. If this isn't true, pretty soon, you will find yourself in pointless discussions that hurt leading to an unsatisfying friendship.

You can be friends with somebody who prefers a different way of timing. One of you is always on time and the other is always late. This only works is both of you view being late not as a disrespectful thing but as a 'can happen sometimes' thing. Again, timing is not a principle for either of you, but flexibility is. If this isn't true, one person is going to feel disrespected and the other is going to feel pressured and unaccepted.

You are somebody who loves to plan outings, but your friend isn't. This is fine as long as the person who plans doesn't feel that it's a principle of love, care and attention, but just a fun activity. If it is, the friend needs to step up (and do their share) or step out.

Want to discuss friendships and relationships with me? Talk to me in the practice, leave a message on the blog or on the Facebook Fan Page.

Dear People,

Life isn't only compliments, sometimes you will receive criticism and complaints, so today I'm writing on how to deal with those in a healing manner. Criticism can be used to foster understanding and to improve ourselves.

Step 1: Don't take it personally
Whenever somebody criticizes us or whenever we receive a complaint, always give yourself a moment to breathe. Relax into the moment and realize that just because somebody thinks you did something wrong or you should have done something better, doesn't mean that you are a bad person, that you did something wrong or that you are worthless.

You often see representatives of companies forget this step and respond to complaints or criticism with anger, with personal attacks or dismissing the client. In this day and age, where you can easily spread the word of how you were treated in a myriad of ways, this is a really bad thing and it's very unprofessional. However, it's still a very human thing to do.

If you notice yourself reacting this way - please tell the other person that you are noticing that you are taking it personally when you shouldn't and that you need a little time out. Respond back when you are calmer. If you are in a business setting you can always tell the other person that you need some time to reflect on their feedback and that you will get back to them. Return to them when you are in a calmer frame of mind and don't forget to check why you took it so personally. Usually the reason we do so is because we heard that criticism very often in the past, we didn't succeed in solving the issue before, we don't want to be a certain way or we feel insecure. Working on that will help you take criticisms the way they are intended: as a way to understand each other better and to improve ourselves.

Resolution A: The criticism has merit in your eyes
When you reflected on if you think the criticism, you agreed it had merit. It might be something you are already working on, something that you wanted to work on but wasn't that high priority or something new that you understand needs to be addressed.
 
If you agree, then of course, it's easy to acknowledge that you feel that it's something you need to work on. Apologize for the situation, discuss tips on how to tackle the problem and do some research yourself on how to improve that part of your life or personality. You can ask the other person to keep holding you accountable and that it's not nagging when they talk about the issue again, as change doesn't usually happen within just one day. Thank them every time they bring it up.

Resolution B: The criticism has no merit in your eyes
Maybe you don't find the criticism to have merit, because you feel that somebody is overly sensitive, you feel that you can't be expected to do that or know that or you feel that your work is fine. While it can be challenging to deal with criticisms or complaints that you feel have no merit it's very important to do so. If you don't deal with it, your relationship with that person will deteriorate.

To find common ground explain your side of the story. Allow the other person to understand where you are coming from. Foster more understanding on both sides. Discuss options on compromise to make both parties happy. If you can't seem to find a compromise, maybe it's better to take your business elsewhere or to stop being friends. Stay committed to who you want to be.

Example: Always being late
So you don't have the best time keeping skills and you tend to be late and now somebody has criticized you about it. It might be your boss, co-worker, a business you frequent or your friends.

If you feel they are right and you do want to change, resolution A, might entail buying an extra alarm clock, discussing how to properly manage your time or finding ways to make sure your daily planner isn't overflowing.

If you feel that coming late shouldn't be an issue, resolution B, might mean that you discussing calling when you are more then 5 minutes late, meeting in places where the other person can conveniently wait, picking somebody up at home or asking the other person to arrive 10-15 minutes later as you don't mind waiting.

Example: Not caring about birthdays
So you don't really remember birthdays and you feel that you are too old to be bothered with them anyway. For you, birthdays are for kids, but one of your friends or family members has complained time and time again that they feel upset you don't call or do anything for their birthday.

If you feel they are right and you do want to change, resolution A, might entail putting a birthday calendar in your bathroom or toilet or using one on your phone. You might also decide to put in an extra alarm on your phone or buy a few birthday cards in advance so you can easily send them out.

If you feel that birthdays just shouldn't be an issue, resolution B, might mean that you just do something special for the one person who cares about it, that you explain that you are fine with bringing a gift if there is a celebration, but you won't be calling on the day itself or sending out a card. It might also mean that you decide that this friendship isn't working out.

Want to share a story of how being criticized helped you? Post a comment on the Blog, Facebook Fan Page or tell me in the practice.
Dear People,

While I always strive to be clear on what type of services I offer - I don't want to clog the website with a lot of text. So today I'm going to write about the differences between booking sessions and ordering the "True Path Plan" so you can see what is right for you.

Differences between sessions and the True Path Plan

People who book a session always have a certain idea or goal in mind, whether it is solving a problem, healing, relaxation, getting answers to their questions or just out of curiosity. Most of the time I have 5-7 sessions if the goal is healing, 1-2 sessions if the goal is answering questions and 1 session if the goal is an energy boost or relaxation. You can of course come back with different questions, a different issue or another request for more relaxation or an energy boost.

During these sessions you have full flexibility on what is done in the sessions (except on time, as I have other clients), so sometimes for example a healing session gets a bit of a massage or after a massage people have a small question that needs answering. As long as it fits within the time and my ethics, it's your session so you can do with it what you want. You can give me feedback, but most clients don't do this until after their set of sessions are finished by letting me know how their life is now or just checking in with me after a few months. If you don't give me feedback that's fine too.

However, for results, you have less flexibility in timing, as it's often very important to have sessions every 2-3 weeks in the beginning moving towards 4-6 weeks when we have reached a healthier stage. If you have sessions further apart, often most of the session is spend cleaning out the energy field and resolving the damage instead of working towards healthier behavior.

If you book the True Path Plan, the intake, looks a bit like a normal session. We discuss what you want to accomplish and I check what is blocking you. What's new is that we set fixed goals you want to achieve, we discuss homework and you receive a report that you can reflect back on. We discuss what type of support you prefer (e-mail/phone). You regularly check in with me by phone or e-mail to change your home work, get support or to book your session minutes.

During the plan you have limited flexibility (if you want to work on something else you need to book a session or use your session minutes), but you receive regular support and have the opportunity to give feedback. I will use your feedback to adjust your homework and reflect on the goals we set.

You will have almost full flexibility on timing as the Plan works within the next 12 months and as long as you do your exercises and home work, you should move towards a healthier stage on your own, planning your session minutes when they are most necessary.

Example 1: Career change

Suppose you are a client who is looking for a change in careers. You aren't satisfied with what you are doing and you want to see where you belong.

If you book sessions we will:
  • check out underlying issues on why you are dissatisfied with your current career
  • heal issues that prevent you from moving forward
  • discover your core strengths
And you have flexibility on anything else you need during sessions to successfully switch careers. If during sessions you want to speak about something else or another issue comes up you are also able to address that instead of focusing in the career.

If you book the True Path Plan:
  • the intake report shows goals, core strengths and what needs healing
  • you will receive home exercises to clear out any issues that are preventing you from moving forward and to help you move forward with ease or you can use your session minutes to do this with me
  • you can request positive energy for interviews and job prospects
  • you can ask my opinion about possible job prospects 
  • you can request new exercises and/or have them modified
And at the end of the plan you will have met the goals we have set and have learned how to help yourself. Please note: goals will be set appropriately within your range of possibilities (like doing interviews in a calm and happy manner vs getting a job in the field you want).

Example 2: Relationship change

Suppose you are a client who is single and looking for love. You want to build a lasting, happy relationship and you want support achieving that.

If you book sessions we will:
  • check out underlying issues on why old relationships didn't work out
  • heal issues that prevent you from moving forward towards a new relationship
  • discover what you want from your relationships
  • discuss possible matches
And you have flexibility on anything else you need during sessions to move towards a loving relationship as well as flexibility on any other issue that becomes important in your life.

If you book the True Path Plan:
  • the intake report shows goals, relationship knowledge and what needs healing
  • you will receive home exercises to clear out any issues that are preventing you from moving forward and to help you move forward with ease or you can use your session minutes to do this with me
  • you can request positive energy for dates and discuss possible matches
  • you can request support if a date doesn't work out 
  • you can request new exercises and/or have them modified
And at the end of the plan you will have met the goals we have set. Please note: goals will be set appropriately with your possibilities (like dating like it's fun and adventurous vs building the relationship you want if there is no prospective partner).

Still wondering what is right for you? You can always discuss your options with me by e-mail or by phone.

Have a question you want answered? Don't hesitate to comment on the blog, the Facebook Fan Page or ask me in the practice.



Dear People,

I have talked to a few people why I found it so important to write detox programs, but now I would like to share my thoughts on the blog. I often see people who have trouble keeping balance in their lives: it's too busy, too stressful and there isn't enough time for reflection. Sometimes people will try to detox only their body by getting a massage, by fasting or doing a physical detox. Very rarely people will invest in a mental and emotional detox. I truly believe that it's important to do so regularly to keep feeling well and happy in our lives. Especially after busy and stressful periods.

Mental Detox
You can always see when people need to do a mental detox. Look around you: if you see somebody that looks bogged down and taxed, that's who needs it. When you have a mental buildup you will feel filled worries and anxieties. Every little thing that goes wrong starts becoming a big thing. You don't have the mental capacity to anticipate problems or to be flexible when problems occur.

This is often when people tell me they just need a holiday. Sometimes the sun or snow, a time without responsibilities and doing whatever they want is enough to recharge your batteries. However, often I notice that right after a holiday people's plate is already full again. A few days after the holiday they are feeling bogged down again and so the cycle continues. If you aren't able to take time off or if extra problems occur like health issues or family problems people burn out.

The two detox programs I designed help by truly detoxing the mental toll you have accumulated. You will do exercises that bring true relaxation, but also exercises designed to look at what you are doing with your time and energy and if that's truly right for you. This way you can cut back on unhealthy habits, understand what works for you and have a happier healthier and lighter life!

Emotional Detox
Most people don't even recognize that they need an emotional detox. They will tell me that they had a heavy year or that it's hard for them to focus on positivity, but often think that they are to blame. When you give a lot of support to people in your live who are struggling and every time you meet personal challenges you deplete your emotional reserves.

Often people tell me that they didn't have time to process their feelings, didn't have time to support themselves, celebrate their successes or bring positivity in their lives. Some of them meditate, do yoga or try to find other ways to find balance, but if it's not done regularly or if the balance between you and others is skewed, it's not enough.

The two detox programs I designed help by truly detoxing the emotional toll you have accumulated. You will do exercises that bring true joy, but also exercises to process feelings, see who or what is bothering you and make choices that are more in line with what you need. This way you can balance your relationships, acknowledge your own wishes and goals and feel emotionally light and free.

Physical Detox
While you are emotionally and mentally detoxing it's no wonder that your body will also need time and attention in the form of more rest, more or less food and other types of care. Often emotional and mental burdens have gotten stuck in the physical as well.

Aside from this side benefit, you can choose how much you want to physically detox. I have recommendations on food intake, sleep patterns and other detox preparations, but in the end you decide what's right for you. If you are expecting a lot of release don't add in much physical detoxing.

Why two programs?
 I wrote two programs, because I feel we have two different types of detox needs: a full overhaul and finding balance within the rhythm of our lives.

The full overhaul is the Intensive Weekend Detox, which helps you makes changes in your life, to stop what you are doing and reassess, to process your feelings, to move on and more forward. You won't have much time for your regular life, but after it you will be bursting from energy and find it easier to make choices.

Finding balance within the rhythm of your life is the Week Detox, which helps you look at different aspects of your life. Every day you will have a mix of exercises to bring a part of your life back into balance. You can pick and choose if you do all three or only one or two. Since you keep access to the programs, you can also choose to make it a three week detox (doing one exercise a day) or to repeat the detox every 2-3 months.

I truly believe detox is worthwhile to do regularly, so both programs allow you to repeat them as much or as little as you want

Ready to detox or have more questions? Write a message on the blog or Facebook Fan Page, send me an e-mail or talk to me in the practice.
Dear People,
Often, I hear from clients who struggle to get motivated to work towards their life goals and to take care of themselves. Today I'm writing you about how to help yourself keep the motivation going.

Motivation: the wrong way
A lot of us have tasks we don't relish doing or that we do like to do but never seem to have time for. It seems like it's natural then to go for the stick approach. Criticize ourselves for not getting things done or being angry at ourselves. The silly things is - we know that this doesn't motive others - but we still use it on ourselves. We still think that if we are just a bit stricter towards ourselves we'd be motivated to do it. No. Doesn't work that way.

Often, the negative energy that this creates, makes it's even harder to complete tasks. We aren't only dealing with getting motivation to do it, but also with the history of abuse we heaped upon ourselves and the feeling of failure.

Motivation: Releasing old feelings
Trust me, if you are still blaming yourself for being super late with dealing with your taxes last year and you make the commitment to do it earlier this year - it's still very likely you will be late. Your feelings of failure and unease from last years debacle will most likely still linger.

So first step in getting motivated to do the things you want to do is releasing old feelings of failure and upset. You can do that being using EFT, a visualisation or a gentle forgiveness affirmation. Or listen to some nice music to let go.Take some time to do this until the task you need to do feels emotionally neutral instead of charged.

Motivation: Building positivity
So now you are with a neutral task that you really want to do. To keep yourself motivated, it's time to add some positivity to it. Why do you want to do this task? What will it bring you? Will you be at ease once your taxes are filed? Will you be happy once you finish that project or clean up your home?

Spend some time fantasying about the results of your task so it becomes positive and joyful. If you find out you can't do that - maybe this task isn't for you. Maybe you need somebody else to do your taxes which is fine.

Motivation: Scheduling
So now that it feels positive to do this task - be sure to schedule it. Often we are quite busy and some of the things we want to do might take 20 or 100 hours. So start scheduling it in. Do you want to spend 2 hours Friday evening to start writing your book or do you want to schedule a weekend to paint your walls?

Schedule schedule schedule! If you don't do it, the flow of life will most likely take you into all kinds of interesting directions - which is wonderful but won't get those tasks done. And no tasks done is no reward that you just realized you want. Forgive yourself if your plans don't shape up as soon as you want but keep the positivity going. And don't forget to reward yourself when things go right on top of the expected payoff.

Want to share what you do to motivate yourself? Post a message on the blog, comment on the Facebook Fan Page or tell me at the practice.