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Psychic Healer Rianne Collignon's blog: filled with articles about her work, her services and spiritual and holistic topics
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Dear People,

Guarding and respecting our boundaries should be as natural as breathing, but for most people it isn't. Some of us have been told about how we need to be kind, polite and forgiving. Some of us are afraid of confrontation and just hope others will understand where our boundaries are and respect them. However, other people can only guess at our boundaries and often will cross them (intentionally or not). So time to EFT on how to keep your boundaries healthy and guard them in an easy way.

Acknowledging your boundaries
Even though it might make my life difficult, I acknowledge I have boundaries
Even though I (might) dislike where my boundaries are, I respect my own boundaries
Even though I feel like I need to toughen up, I respect own my boundaries
Even though I feel childish, I respect my own boundaries
Even though I don't want to deal with them, I acknowledge my own boundaries
Even though I want to be different/easy going, I know everybody has boundaries
Even though I don't want to listen to my body, I know my body has boundaries
Even though I don't want to listen to my heart, I know my heart has boundaries
Even though I don't want to listen to myself, I know I have boundaries

Guarding your boundaries
Even though I don't want conflict, I guard my boundaries
Even though I don't want to be rude, I guard my boundaries
Even though I don't want to be unkind, I guard my boundaries
Even though I don't want to be angry, I guard my boundaries
Even though I don't want to escalate, I guard my boundaries
Even though I want somebody else to take the job, I know it's my job to guard my boundaries
Even though I have to practice guarding my boundaries, I know it gets easier and easier
Even though I want to hide/run away, I choose to guard my boundaries
Even though I rather have other people support me and my boundaries, I know I have to support myself and my boundaries

Other people
Even though people might not like my boundaries, it's my right to have them
Even though people might not understand my boundaries, it's my right to have them
Even though people might try to cross my boundaries, I choose to guard them
Even though people might undermine my boundaries, I choose to guard them
Even though people might try to guilt trip me, I know my life/time/energy is mine

Having trouble guarding your boundaries or dealing with the emotional fallout? Post a message on the blog, Facebook Fan Page or e-mail me for a personalized EFT sentence!
Dear People,

We all have goals in our lives that we want to achieve, but quite often, we have some obstacles in the way. Our attitude is very important and yet it's often the most difficult thing to change. We want what we want and we want it now! Yet, today, I'm writing on how to stay in a positive flow if you change this thought pattern, because the results are really worthwhile. You might not reach your goals sooner, but you will reach them in a healthier way.

Steamroller attitude
A lot of time steamroller attitude is hidden under positive words like: disciplined, high achiever, dedicated, driven and not acknowledged as a problem. When people have inherited this attitude from their parents or when it's expected of them from society, their bosses or spouses it can be even harder to break free. Often it's considered necessary for promotions.

We even talk about steam rolling other people: talking over them and interjecting your own sentiment. The attitude that I'm talking about when working towards our goals and dealing with obstacles is the same.

Steam roller attitude is:
  • normal healthy arguments are rejected
  • normal healthy boundaries are crossed
  • feelings are repressed
  • warnings are ignored
So what happens? Usually people get physical complaints, problems with spouses, family or friends, starting to feel emotionally blank and lose touch with their inner power. The goal gets achieved and for some people this is good enough. However, it does usually have painful consequences, which sometimes are only found out long after the fact. In the end, we will pay the price.

Examples:
  • Finishing a project at work or at school at the expense of your body (skip on sleep and/or food and feel grumpy and overly tired)
  • Being so focused on your career at the expense of your social life (stressed, not spending time with others, not able to build or support meaningful relationships etc.)
  • Trying to lose weight in dangerous ways
  • Doing fertility treatments when your body or relationship isn't ready for them
Spiritual Attitude
Spiritual attitude to reaching goals means you achieve the goal in way that is healthy for you and that helps you get support from the spiritual and material world. To do so, it means you check regularly if you are aren't too focused on your goal so you are missing signals or have discarded warnings.

Spiritual attitude means:
  • You listen. To your own feelings, to people around you, to experts, to your intuition etc. and of course you check if your goal is right for you
  • You acknowledge the messages in the right way - what do you need to change, transform, release or let go. 
  • You check what you can do to have your network help you
  • You check what you can do to make achieving the goal easier
Examples:
  • You ask for help with cooking or buy healthy food (salads etc.), take care of your sleep, might ask to extend a deadline while working on your project or ask a colleague for help
  • You tell people you want to achieve a promotion or get a new job, ask for them to help you find opportunities, give focus and attention to your wishes and make sure your life is healthy and balanced
  • You work on listening to your body and find out what works for you and what doesn't, losing weight by making healthy decisions, healthy changes and building healthy patterns step by step. You forgive yourself when you make mistakes, accept that you aren't perfect, refocus when needed and celebrate your successes
  • Doing fertility treatments when your body and relationship is ready for it, meaning you tackle this as team with your partner, support each other and be able to do balance your life while going through this hardship
So whenever you want to achieve something, carefully check on if you are doing it the right way, as you can cherish the fruits of your labors in a happier and healthier way.

Want to talk about achieving your goals? Talk to me in the practice, write a comment on this blog or on the Facebook Fan Page or shoot me an e-mail.
Dear People,

Time for some more affirmations to receive what you want in your life. So today's theme is about Receiving itself. We all want to receive in life: love, kindness, tolerance, money, joy, luck etc. etc. Even so, we often put restrictions on what we can receive or from whom. This can seriously reduce the receiving flow in our lives, so don't miss out and affirm away.
I write my affirmations in 3 different levels so you can see what resonates with you and what you want to work on.

Pick and choose what works for you and affirm away (I recommend three times a day if you can manage it).

I am willing to receive
I am willing to receive from my loved one's
I am willing to receive from everybody
I am willing to receive
I allow myself to receive
I am open to receiving

I am willing to receive kindness
I am willing to receive tolerance
I am willing to receive love
I am willing to receive money
I am willing to receive friendship
I am willing to receive help

I receive
I receive wholeheartedly
I receive unconditionally

Have an affirmation you want to share? Don't hesitate to post it in a comment on the blog or on the Facebook Fan Page. You can also share your affirmation stories in the practice, by e-mail or publicly online.  
Dear People,

Some of you might have seen me promote Stichting Opkikker already, which is a wonderful organization that surprises families with a chronically ill child with a wonderful day. They have chosen to focus on families, as not only the child, but also parents and siblings have a difficult time too.

So it was only logical that I got questions recently about my volunteer work. I usually don't advertise much with it, but this topic is very dear to my heart having been a very sick child, so I wanted the organization to get as much exposure as possible.

Why I volunteer
I prefer to make a positive impact on the world and so volunteer work/charity work is a natural way to do that for me. There are so many organizations and initiatives to support that do good work. Joining with them makes for a wonderful time and a good contribution.

I used to work personally as a volunteer, but now I prefer to volunteer through Hart & Ziel. I love my job, so doing it more often, for free or for a small(er) fee really makes me happy.

What organizations do I pick
Sometimes I get asked to volunteer or donate to a good cause and sometimes I contact an organization myself. There are many worthwhile causes and only so much time and energy in the day, so I have to pick and choose what I do.

Usually my criteria are:
  • The goal/cause of the organization is touches my heart. I need to feel like me and the organization are a match for me to donate time, energy or money.
  • I trust the people or the organization is CBF or ANBI certified. I prefer working with organizations that are crystal clear with their finances and are well run.
  • I can offer the organization something worthwhile due to my expertise 
  • I can make the time, energy or monetary commitment that is needed
Can I ask you to come help me or my organization?
Sure, ask away. I love getting volunteer requests and am always on the lookout how I can help the world get better. If you ask me for things not related to my business (for example: helping setting up things, doing administration etc.) I probably won't accept your request.

Even if it is related to what I do with Hart en Ziel please understand that I might not be able to accommodate your request. As all human beings, I have limited resources so I have to make the choices that are right for me. Nobody can say yes to everything and that certainly doesn't mean I don't care about your organization or request.

If you don't have a request, but want to help me set up or support my volunteer effort, please contact me. If I have somebody willing to share the burden of setting up, driving and/or other tasks, that really helps me out and allows me to do more. Whenever I get a request that seems like a good fit I'd certainly discuss it with you and see if it's a good fit for the both of us.

Have a good organization that you want me to look at? Post a comment on the Blog, Facebook Fan Page, send me an e-mail or talk to me in the practice.
Dear People,

Shame should be a signal that we have done something that we don't want to repeat. That we are learning our lesson: that something doesn't suit us and we won't repeat it. However, often shame arises even when we did nothing wrong, but feel responsible or when it feels like doing our best wasn't good enough. Once shame has a permanent place in our energy fields, it often means it will seriously impact our behavior as we feel too ashamed to move forward, forgive, heal or transform issues. So that's why today I'm writing EFT sentences on shame.

Shame as a healthy signal
Even though I feel ashamed, I'm willing to learn and move forward
Even though I feel ashamed, I allow shame to lift me up
Even though I feel ashamed, I allow myself to receive my inner wisdom
Even though I feel ashamed, I lovingly accept myself
Even though I feel ashamed, I will work to correct my mistakes
Even though I feel ashamed, I turn shame into wisdom

Letting go of old shame
Even though I still feel ashamed because of <situation X>, I choose to move forward
Even though I still feel ashamed because of <situation X>, I choose to learn my lesson
Even though I still feel ashamed because of <situation X>, I choose to transform my shame
Even though I still feel ashamed because of <situation X>, I choose to forgive myself
Even though I still feel ashamed because of <situation X>, I let go of the past

Learning the lesson
Even though I feel uncomfortable with my shame, I am willing to learn my lesson
Even though I feel tarnished by my shame, I'm willing to make amends/move forward
Even though I feel tarnished by my shame, I'm willing to feel innocent again
Even though I feel upset about <situation X>, I release my shame
Even though I don't like feeling shame, I acknowledge my lesson

Truth
Even though I feel very ashamed because of <situation X>, I choose to see my own role clearly
Even though I feel very ashamed because of <situation X>, I choose to see the circumstances
Even though I feel very ashamed because of <situation X>, I choose to see the role of others
Even though I feel very ashamed because of <situation X>, I choose to look with love
Even though I feel very ashamed because of <situation X>, I choose to see the truth

Stuck in a feeling of shame that keeps you from making healthy choices or moving forward? Post a message on the blog, Facebook Fan Page or e-mail me for a personalized EFT sentence!
Dear people,

Often we have well meaning people in our lives wishing to give us advice or to help us with what they perceive is our problem. While most people will understand our boundaries and respect them, not all people will. We don't want to start a fight, but also, we don't want to feel pushed or ignored. Today I'll talk about how to shut people down in a polite and mostly tactful way.

When you have made a decision - don't JADE
JADE which stands for Justify, Argue, Defend or Explain is something we often do when have made a decision. We want the other person to understand why, hoping this understanding fosters their cooperation or at least their acceptance.

However, when we are talking to somebody who has trouble respecting our boundaries, this just means that you give them ammunition to try to argue with you, convince you or feel that they are entitled to make your decision a mutual one. It keeps feeding into longer and longer discussions that leave us feeling exhausted and angry.

No is a complete sentence. If you feel that's too rude, "that won't work for me", or "that's not an option for me" is a wonderful substitute. If you have initiated the conversation saying: "That's non of your business" might be too rude for you, but "My decision has been made" is also a wonderful way to tell them it's over. If they keep going on and on, please feel completely justified in hanging up the phone or walking away. Boundary disrespect needs to have consequences or you will be fighting this battle all the time - win the war by escalating if people disrespect your boundaries.

Shutting down people who have can't empathize with you
Sometimes people don't understand our decisions and feel like they have the right to try to convince us to change our minds. I often find it's because they have trouble to empathize with our reasons, because they don't have similar experiences.

For example: if your mother was toxic and you cut her from your life and friend might say: "but she's your mother!" and feel the need to convince you to try to heal that relationship. It's because they are imagining themselves in your shoes but with their mother and not yours.

It's hopeless to get people to understand if they are unwilling to look beyond their own experiences. There are countless mothers who have grievously hurt their own children. You will find yourself getting back into the same hurtful discussions over and over. Shut them down for your sake.

So, politely shut them down with:
"I have heard your thoughts/feelings/ideas about this topic, but the discussion is closed"
"I'm confident I'm doing the right thing"
"This isn't up for discussion"
"It's my life and thus my choice"

Again, if the second boundary isn't respected, feel free to escalate to hanging up the phone, walking away or putting your friend in time out. 

Shutting down people who feel they deserve a second chance
Sometimes people are not right for each other. If we aren't, we will walk a road of pain in which we hurt each other (inadvertently or on purpose). When it's clear that it's time to say goodbye to such a relationship, often only one person sees this truth. This means one person will sometimes chase the other for a second chance.

You don't owe anybody a second chance to hurt you. If you clearly see that this person isn't good for you, this relationship isn't healthy or you are just unwilling to give them a second chance, that's fine. I repeat: You don't owe anybody a second chance to hurt you.

Shut them down hard by making sure they can't contact you anymore. Remove them from social media, don't reply to texts, block their phone calls and put their e-mails immediately into the trash or a special folder (for evidence purposes). There are no magical words or explanations that will work. Nobody deserves to be harassed. If this continues, please contact the authorities.

Shutting down people who are rude
I prefer to be tactful but sometimes people are just plain rude to you. They might give unsolicited advice or make nasty comments on your appearance, relationship, manners or whatever they feel needs correcting.

You can feel overwhelmed and angry when this happens and that makes is hard to have a snappy comeback. This is why I often have standard sentences to use so I can at least wrangle those out of my mouth.

Shut them down with:
"What a thing to say!"
"I can't believe you just said that"
"That's not your business"

Boundary Escalation 
If somebody repeatedly crossed a boundary, they are escalating by ignoring you, which means you can escalate by showing them that behavior isn't tolerated. Is that rude? Maybe a bit, but they are rude first.

Healthy escalation:
  1. Subtle remark (not answering the questions, redirecting etc.)
  2. Polite request (let's talk about something else etc.)
  3. Explicit request (I don't want to talk about this)
  4. Shutting down (this isn't up for discussion)
  5. Cutting down contact (hanging up the phone, moving away, leaving)
  6. Time out (You didn't respect my boundaries - I won't speak to you until I get an apology/I need some space, I'll contact you when I'm ready)
You have every right to protect your boundaries. Your healthy escalation might look different from mine, but if you are stuck on a number that isn't being respect (for example repeatedly ask politely), please move down your list for your own emotional and mental health.

Want more advice on shutting people down or share your own take down story? Post a comment on the Blog, Facebook Fan Page or talk to me.

Dear People,

Sometimes life can really get us down and it's so important to take a break and recharge or rejuvenate ourselves. We don't always have the opportunity to take a long break, go on a holiday or take a day off - so why not do some quick affirmations to help relax yourself? It only takes a few minutes and helps to center us quickly. So today's theme is Rejuvenating Affirmations.

I write my affirmations in 3 different levels so you can see what resonates with you and what you want to work on.

Pick and choose what works for you and affirm away (I recommend three times a day if you can manage it).

I rejuvenate myself by letting go of negative vibrations
I rejuvenate myself by letting go of worries
I rejuvenate myself by letting go of sabotaging behavior

I allow life to rejuvenate me with it's splendor
I rejuvenate myself with laughter
I rejuvenate myself with positive vibrations
 
I am young at heart
I have youthful energy
I look years younger then my age

I find rejuvenating myself easy
I find rejuvenating myself simple
I rejuvenate myself every day

Have an affirmation you want to share? Don't hesitate to post it in a comment on the blog or on the Facebook Fan Page. You can also share your affirmation stories in the practice, by e-mail or publicly online.  
 


Dear People,

A lot of us give a lot and it's easy to forget our own boundaries and to feel burnt out. We are tired of helping others and we just want to be left alone or we try to manipulate others to give to us, because we aren't receiving enough. This is a serious issue that can damage our relationships with other people and definitely the one we have with ourselves.  So today I'll talk about how to keep your positive flow with giving!

Remove any expectations
I'm sure we all have been on the receiving end of receiving a gift and having the giver expect us to be grateful, happy, excited or any other mix of feelings. It makes it very awkward when we don't like the gift or when we feel pressured into giving back something (time, energy, a favor, a gift etc.). This type of giving and receiving diminishes both people.

So when you plan to give something, check with yourself: would you be very sad if the person doesn't like it, are you giving it because you wish for something in return (thanks, a favor, a gift) or to make yourself feel superior? We all fall into these types of traps, so don't worry, just do the work necessary to heal these expectations so you can give freely.

Make sure you really want to give what you are giving

Sometimes we feel obligated to give (time, energy, a favor, a gift) because the receiver is family, or a good friend or our boss. When we feel obligated, the gift isn't given freely, and again it will diminish both parties. Or we might feel that before we give something, we receive an apology or build a better bond.

When you don't feel that you can give this particular thing freely, check what you can give freely. It might be less time, a less expensive gift, good advice or  an opening to talk and air out your feelings

Make sure you give enough to yourself
Sometimes we are so caught up in what other people need, want or require from us, that we forget to give to ourselves. This is especially easy if we have children, but we can also be caught up in family, spouses or even our boss!

So check your own needs regularly to make sure you have what you need to feel happy and whole. Don't be shy about buying yourself a gift or taking time for just yourself.

Make sure you receive back
If giving becomes one sided for a long time, our relationships suffer. So make sure that you receive back, either by accepting what another person offers or by asking for things yourself. If you find yourself saying: "No, it's no problem" or "It's fine", check yourself. Often we have learned that this is polite but having a healthy giving flow is much more important then being polite!

Want to share more about giving and receiving? Post a comment on the blog, Facebook Fan Page or talk to me.
Dear People,

We all want love in our lives, but often it can become a source of disappointment, pain and anger. We expect too much or too little from those we love or we have trouble showing our own love in healthy ways. If you recognize yourself in this, time to do some EFT today to help yourself. 

EFT sentences on accepting love
Even though I don't feel worthy, I choose to accept love.
Even though I feel I should be more/do more, I deserve love.
Even though I have trouble accepting compliments, I deserve love.

EFT sentences on love and expectations
Even though I feel upset I didn't receive X from Y, I accept Y completely
Even though I feel Y let me down, I am willing to love and forgive Y
Even though I feel I do more for Y then I for me, I choose to love Y and balance our relationship
Even though I can have high expectations for myself and others, I choose to have healthy expectations

EFT on relationships and love
Even though I might have made mistakes in the past, I choose to learn my love lessons
Even though my past love life might be painful, I choose to learn and move on
Even though I have unhealthy love patterns, I choose to find a great partner
Even though I might have trouble letting go of a past partner, I chose to move forward towards a healthy love life
Even though I'm angry with my partner, I choose to solve problems in a healthy way
Even though it's tempting to want to change my partner, I accept my partner
Even though it's easy to see only the best parts of my partner, I choose to see all of my partner

Feel free to leave a comment on the Blog, Facebook Fan Page or to talk to me in the practice about love.


Dear People,

I've already wrote a bit about How I work with Crystals, but today I wanted to write a bit about the why and give you some ideas on how you can work with them yourself. Please don't think you need to spend a fortune on crystals to work with them. Take your time to see what works for you and don't hesitate to try to use other rocks or even pieces of wood for vibration work.

Why I work with Crystals
I have been attracted to crystals from a young age. While I don't really like to wear jewelry, somehow natural stones always would give me a warm fuzzy feeling. I also loved mineral clusters as they are very pretty. I can remember wearing tiger eye as a young child as one of my friends gifted it to me as a birth stone and to help with my asthma.

I still find stones one of the easiest ways to do intention work and vibration work with as they will retain a lot of energy, help with their own energy and are easy to use.


Picking the right Crystals
A lot of people will read up on what certain crystals do, but I believe in first picking with your heart, intuition and soul. Check out what crystal seems to call your name, see what makes you feel comfortable or happy and only after that pay attention to what other people have used that particular crystal for: it will very likely teach you something about yourself. Else you might select crystals that you think will work for you - when in fact they won't.

The opposite is also true: crystals that repulse you probably have something to teach you as well. Their energies might clash with yours, it might be something you can't accept yet or that you are afraid to let into your life.

Crystal Tips
Naturally, the easiest thing to do is to just wear your crystals.
However, there is a lot more you can do with them like:
  • Place them in your water bottle (make sure they are non toxic) or near your water for a boost
  • Place some in a bowl near your couch so you can touch them while you watch TV or talk with friends
  • Place some in the hallway near your shoes
  • Place some under your pillow or near your head while you sleep or under the bed
  • Set some next to your work area to heal clear your head

Crystal Exercise: Making a Crystal Pouch or Grid
When you have an intention you want to work with or goal that you want to accomplish, it's fun to work with crystals. You can of course choose only one specific crystal, but you can also make a pouch or Grid and use combined crystal energies for more effect.

A pouch is meant to be worn, but if you feel uncomfortable wearing many crystals, making a grid is a good alternative. A Grid can be placed on any surface, but for maximum effect please place it somewhere you can see it often or can be near it.

Selecting your crystals for a pouch or grid is easy: follow your intuition, read up on crystal meanings and see what works for you. I recommend 5 crystals maximum in a pouch (else it isn't comfortable to wear) and as many as you can fit comfortably in your grid. I like to form geometric symbols with my grids, but you can use any formation that you want.

Once you have finished your pouch or grid, reiterate your intent or goal while holding your pouch or when you are near your grid. Repeat this at least once a week (but preferably daily) until you are satisfied with the results or want to make changes. Be sure to thank all energies that have helped you before emptying a pouch or when you reconfigure your grid.

Crystal Exercise: Chakra Balancing
I wrote an article about how to balance chakras using affirmations, but using crystals is also an easy and fast way to help balance yourself. I have a chakra Pouch featuring the 7 main chakra's with them etched on the crystals, but you can also select crystals that you feel fit your chakra's best.

One of my favorite ways to work with my pouch is to draw the stones to see what chakras need crystal aid the most. I link them to area's that I'm working on in my life so I can see what is going on and might need reconsidering.

Example:

I draw my 7 crystals as follows: 3rd Chakra, 7th Chakra, 5th Chakra, 4th Chakra, 6th Chakra, 2nd Chakra, 1st Chakra.

Right now, it feels like my will is weaker then usual, it's hard for me to keep myself motivated. I'm rechecking what needs to be done in my life and what's really important to me. Especially with the 7th Chakra as the second draw it's important I stay on my Soul's path and keep in touch with my Guidance. It's obviously also important to keep my own voice (5th) while staying in touch with my feelings (4th). However, there seems to be a good solid base with my intuition (6th), gut feeling (2nd) and stability (1st Chakra).


Want to share what you do with your crystals? Post a message on the Blog, Facebook Fan Page or talk to me in the practice!
Dear People,

Nothing is more relaxing then to work with some affirmations to help you on your life's path. Today's theme is Living your Spirit Affirmations. We all want to be able to live lives that are filled with laughter, joy, purpose, abundance, happiness and well being. The best way to get such a life is to live in accordance with your Spirit and not your ego, your fears, your anxieties or your pain.

I write my affirmations in 3 different levels so you can see what resonates with you and what you want to work on.

Pick and choose what works for you and affirm away (I recommend three times a day if you can manage it).

I am willing to let go of emotions that block my path
I am willing to let go of behavior that blocks my path
I am willing to live in accordance to my Spirit

I am willing to listen to Spirit
I am willing to take the actions necessarily for my Spiritual Path
I am willing to live a Spiritual Life

I accept the work I need to do for my Spiritual Life
I accept the gifts I receive due to my Spiritual Life
I accept my Spiritual Life

I am willing to embrace my gifts
I am willing to embrace my path
I am willing to embrace my Spiritual Life

Have an affirmation you want to share? Don't hesitate to post it in a comment on the blog or on the Facebook Fan Page. You can also share your affirmation stories in the practice, by e-mail or publicly online.  
 

Dear People,

Power Struggle is a very damaging dynamic in which winning becomes more important then anything else. It's a dynamic that knows only losers, because there is no healthy outcome. Yet it is one of the most insidious dynamics in relationships to stop, so today I'm writing about recognizing and stopping power struggles.

What is a Power Struggle?
The short version: a Power Struggle is a fight about control between you and another person. For example: between you and your child about what gets eaten at dinner or between you and your spouse about what you will do in the weekend.

The long version: 
While a power struggle looks to be about control (what happens/what decision is made) when you look closer you can see a lot of emotions and thoughts connected to a struggle. Fear, Anger, Loss, Betrayal, Feeling unloved or like a failure etc. almost always play a role.

If those feelings and thought patterns aren't addressed, nothing is really resolved. Even if you get your way, your partner will struggle with these and it won't be a true win. If you lose, you get to hold the bag and it won't be a true win for your partner.

Solving the power struggle: Tactic 1: Stop Struggling
What ever you are trying to accomplish, whatever you want, whoever you are trying to control let it go. Drop the rope. Stop trying to convince your partner, child or friend. Heal your own emotions and thought patterns first. Acknowledge why something is important for you, without putting blame on your struggle partner. Put your wishes back into perspective and often you will find that the other person is more willing to listen, understand and compromise now that you have let go. You yourself might be surprised at how little you actually 'care' now that you have stopped the struggle and healed your issues.

Solving the power struggle: Tactic 2: Get back on the Team
In a power struggle both parties feel they are right, both feel that it's absolutely necessary to receive what you want, to gain control. This mindset is destructive: we don't want losers in our relationships. Whenever somebody loses (energy, love, patience etc.) or receives trauma (betrayal, pain, heartbreak) our relationship suffers. We also still have to deal with what happened, because someone we love is in pain. So step out of the mindset. Get back on the team. Ask your struggle partner what you can do to help, listen to them on what is going on with them, help them first and then ask for help in return. Make it a team effort to find compromise, make a plan and move forward.

Solving the power struggle: Tactic 3: Allow outside help
Maybe there is somebody who can mediate or if there isn't, you can ask your Guides, Angels, God, The Universe or whatever positive force you are comfortable with to intercede for you. Find it in your heart to move towards a solution, instead of 'getting your way' by asking for help.
Want to solve a power struggle or talk about one that's currently in your life? Post a comment on the Blog or Facebook Fan Page or talk to me in the practice.
Dear People,

Time for some more free affirmations. Today's theme is Luck Affirmations. We all would like more lucky in life. I often hear people regularly affirm that they aren't, by saying: "I never win anything" or similar sentiments. Life is a lot easier when you are lucky: you are were you need to be at the right time, you receive miracles regularly and of course it's always fun to win things.

I write my affirmations in 3 different levels so you can see what resonates with you and what you want to work on.

Pick and choose what works for you and affirm away (I recommend three times a day if you can manage it).

I am willing to be more open to luck
I am willing to be lucky
I am always lucky

I appreciate my luck 
I appreciate my luck regularly
I always appreciate my luck

I am lucky in love
I am lucky in money matters
I am lucky in life

I feel lucky
I feel like a lucky person
I feel like a lucky soul

My luck (regularly/always) brings me joy
My luck (regularly/always) brings me happiness
My luck (regularly/always) brings me miracles

Have a luck affirmation you want to share? Don't hesitate to post it in a comment on the blog or on the Facebook Fan Page. You can also share your affirmation stories in the practice, by e-mail or publicly online.  
 



Dear People,

A lot of the time I talk with people about healing their birth families (which they were raised in) and their core families (that they build themselves). We all receive patterns from our birth family that we continue into our own core families. This why sometimes patterns become Ancestral problems, which each generation being out of balance. So, today I'm going to write about how to recognize these unhealthy patterns, forgive the generations above us and below us and heal them.

Recognizing unhealthy family patterns
If you look at the generations above you and below you what type of family story do you see emerge? Does everybody have a good job or are some people workaholics (unbalanced) or unmotivated (unbalanced in the other direction). How does your family deal with money? Are some people extremely stingy while others give away too freely? How about love? Are the relationships healthy or do you have many divorces or abusive relationships or people who refuse to start a relationship. How about self-esteem?

An unhealthy pattern doesn't mean that all family members do exactly the same thing. Like the questions above usually a few family members choose one extreme while the other family members choose another. To see the unhealthy pattern, to most common question should be: Does my family deal healthily with love, friendships, self-esteem, learning, money, health etc. and if not, which extreme patterns do I see?

What is the difference in healing a personal pattern vs a family pattern?
If there is a personal pattern and for example you are the only one in your family having self esteem issues, there is often personal trauma involved. You might have had a harsh teacher or been bullied at school.

If it's a family pattern the problem is often much more difficult to root out, because none of your family can help you build healthy self-esteem, because none of them have it. It often means that the problem becomes reinforced as your parents might teach you to work extra hard to prove yourself while pointing out other family members who 'amount to nothing' as they took the other extreme and decided not to play the rat-race game.


So when struggling with an unhealthy pattern that is difficult to heal, take some time to check how your family deals with it. A family pattern could have been caused by trauma to an ancestor high up, so it's hard to figure out what happened, but it can also have happened to your mother, father or grandparents so it might be easier to find out what the 'start trauma' was. It will bring you more understanding and forgiveness, but it's not necessary to find out the start trauma to heal it.

Exercise: Healing an unhealthy family pattern
  • Write down in detail what you feel is the unhealthy pattern and what everybody's role is in it.
  • Write down what you need to do to transform your role from unhealthy to healthy
  • Imagine yourself transforming this in your life and your good example showing others in your family how to do this for themselves
  • Sit with the light of transformation within you until you feel cleared and at peace.
  • Ask for the light of your transformation to be moved through the generations above and below you
  • Ask for transformation again if you feel you are backsliding into the pattern and make sure you move it through your whole family tree again
Want to talk about your family patterns? Post a comment on this blog, the Facebook Fan Page or talk to me in the practice.
Dear People,

Time for some more free affirmations. Today's theme is Joy Affirmations. We all would like more joy in our lives, but often it's easy to get bogged down and to forget how to smile. Some affirmations can help you see the light in your life as well as the humor. I highly recommend poking fun at yourself and the world on a regular basis.

I write my affirmations in 3 different levels so you can see what resonates with you and what you want to work on.

Pick and choose what works for you and affirm away (I recommend three times a day if you can manage it).

I am willing to find joy in my life
I am willing to seek out joy in my life
I am willing to create joy in my life 

I know I don't have to take myself so seriously
I can laugh at my demons
I can laugh at everything life throws at me

I find joy regularly
I find joy easily
I find joy in all places

I smile easily
I smile daily
I smile multiple times a day

My heart is light with joy
My mind is light with joy
My spirit is light with joy

Have a peace affirmation you want to share? Don't hesitate to post it in a comment on the blog or on the Facebook Fan Page. You can also share your affirmation stories in the practice, by e-mail or publicly online.  
 




Dear People,

While I already wrote about what questions I won't answer but recently I was also asked twice about what type of clients aren't welcome in my practice. It's a difficult question to answer, because I would like to say everybody is welcome, but the truth is that this just isn't possible. It's fair to say that I have two groups of people who I don't tend to work with.

Group 1: People whose problems I can't solve/who are better off with somebody else
While I'd love to help everybody, the truth is that sometimes I don't see the results I want. I've never had 0 results, but sometimes the results aren't on the issue the client feels is most urgent. I often find that if we continue working there will be a shift in what is considered the 'main issue'. However, if it doesn't do this within a reasonable time frame, I will start looking at alternatives for my client.

For example: somebody might come with problems concerning weight and first will find more energy, better sleeping patterns and less snacking, but no direct results on their weight in the first few sessions.

It can also be that the problem goes away too slowly and I feel that a client is better served going to someone who works differently. I mainly work on the emotional/mental and spiritual side of issues and sometimes another approach gives faster results or might even be paid for by insurance.

Whenever I feel that you are not best served by my work, I feel it's my duty to tell you to at least try somewhere else. So even if clients insist that they want to stay I often ask them to take a break from sessions with me, explore another option or at least think about it and then think long and hard if they really want to continue. However, if you are satisfied and don't mind going slow(er) I will respect a clients choice, unless I truly feel that I'm doing them a disservice. I won't work against my own conscience.

Group 2: People who don't respect the rules of my practice/don't work well with me
I'm very transparent about how I like to work, what my rules and guidelines are and how I feel we will get the best results. Some people who come to my practice feel hopeless, don't think it's going to make a difference or have a 'wait and see'-approach. While that doesn't make for the easiest working relationships, I do understand where that attitude is coming from and am fine with it. Often, it starts to shift when results are coming in.

Sometimes however, this attitude doesn't change or even becomes combative. You are free to take my advice or not and to choose how you want to live your life, but don't choose something else and then come and complain that your life isn't moving like I said it would. For my own health and well being, I then have to let go of a client. I don't want to get stuck in power struggles about what is really changing in a clients life and what isn't and why.

Another problem are clients or potential clients who don't want to respect the rules of the practice. They want free consultations and will call between 7pm-8pm to ask me to answer their questions. That time I have set aside for making or changing appointments and discussing if I can help you and I usually don't have the peace and quiet necessarily to do Readings. I will of course also explain that I don't work for free. Still I have people who continue to try this. I once had to hang up on somebody who had tried this on at least 4 different occasions and just kept going on the last occasion by saying: "It was just a quick/small question". Even if it is, I don't have to work for free and I don't want to during this particular time in my evenings.

I also have people who are angry about having to pay for cancelling late or not cancelling at all. While I understand that it's hard to pay while you feel you have received 'nothing', I did do preparation work, kept your spot open and told you in advance this is how I work. If you don't agree with how I work, you are free to find somebody who works the way you want.

Still I have had clients who keep trying to persuade me to work in ways they want (no cancellation fees, working without feedback, not keeping appointments, wanting extra's, working for free etc.). Again, for both of our sakes it's better to discontinue working together as I thought long and hard on why I want to work this way and I don't feel inclined to change it. It's fine when clients ask if something is possible/if I can make an exception, but if you can't accept a no and keep on pushing boundaries, I'm not interested in keeping you as a client.

What's surprising for most people is that I don't ban clients who have mental problems, don't ban addicts etc. I always check on a case by case basis if I can help you and no group is banned in advance. While it can be more difficult to work with people struggling with these issues, I am always willing to try.

Have a question for me? Ask me in the practice, send me an e-mail or post a comment on the blog or Facebook Fan Page.

Dear People,

Time to help us release one of the emotions we often feel and that can be hard to release. A lot of us feel guilty daily, often for things out of our control (I should have/could have/would have), because we want to do more (I'm disappointing X, I'm not being there enough) and only rarely for things we actually do wrong. I often see people in the practice who carry around guilt that isn't theirs or for years and years. Let's all move forward to having a healthy relationship with guilt.

 My Guilt Reflection questions are the following:
  1. Do I feel guilty for something I did? If so can I justify it/forgive myself?
  2. Do I feel guilty for something I didn't do? If so, was it reasonable for me to expect myself to do it? Did I have the time/energy to make it happen or did I need to take care of something else first?
  3. If I still feel guilty, do I need to make it right (apologize) or do I need to let go?
Question 1makes sure that you feel guilty for something that you actually did and are responsible for while also making sure that the other person's part is recognized. For example: If you feel guilty that you slammed the phone, it shows you that you also need to see what the other person did, because you might be able to justify it with a: 'they were yelling at me and not respecting my boundaries'.

Question 2 helps you see if you feel guilty for not meeting expectations (your own or those of others). It shows you where you put your priorities and if they are right for you are not. For example: If you feel guilty for not visiting your mom/dad or a sick relative. It shows you that we all have limited time/energy and we have to pick.

Question 3 helps to see what type of guilt it is. Sometimes we keep feeling guilty for things we did genuinely do wrong, even if the other person no longer feels harmed, like for example: not giving back a library book, which we can always still make right in some way and sometimes we just need to let go.

EFT sentences on guilt and responsibility
Even though I feel guilty, I choose to see the whole picture.
Even though I feel guilty, I choose to see the truth.
Even though I feel guilty, I choose to have a healthy relationship with guilt.

EFT sentences on guilt and expectations
Even though I feel guilty I wasn't able to do X, I understand I have my own needs
Even though I feel guilty I wasn't able to do X, I understand I have my own life
Even though I feel guilty I wasn't able to do X, I understand I'm only human

EFT on releasing guilt
Even though I still feel guilty, I choose to move forward
Even though I still feel guilty, I choose to release my guilt
Even though I didn't behave perfectly, I forgive myself/release my guilt
Even though I didn't do the right thing, I forgive myself/release my guilt
Even though I feel I didn't do enough, I forgive myself/release my guilt
Even though people were hurt, I forgive myself/release my guilt
Even though I feel I need to suffer for what I've done, I recognize my suffering would serve no purpose so I forgive myself/release my guilt

Feel free to leave a comment on the Blog, Facebook Fan Page or to talk to me in the practice about releasing guilt.
Dear People,

From all solutions that are available to us when we struggle, waiting is one of the hardest to do. In our society a premium is placed on being busy, doing things and active participation. However, the passive and reflective side of us can bring solutions as well.

Reflective waiting vs fretting
If you are boiling water for tea, you have to wait until it's done before you can make it. A common saying is: a watched pot never boils. This isn't true of course, but the idea is very sound. If we keep on fretting and watching the pot it is going to take ages and it's going to drain our energy and mood.

Sometimes we need to wait for the other person, we need to take time for forces behind the scenes to get things moving and fretting, watching and micromanaging isn't going to have it done faster.

Reflective waiting is knowing the pot is on the stove, that things are moving forward and that sometimes you will see little signs to see the situation is moving forward. Keep an eye out for those little changes, in yourself, in the environment, in others to help you with waiting and to adjust course whenever necessary. Learn to wait patiently and gracefully and your life will improve.

Waiting vs procrastination
Sometimes we say we are waiting, but in fact, we aren't, we are procrastinating. If you are waiting, that means you have done the appropriate action and you need to wait to hear from the other side (like for your pot to boil). Often we don't really want to do the appropriate action, so we are saying we are waiting: for the time to do something, for a better day, for tomorrow etc. etc.

So, how do you know you are not really waiting? When you ask yourself what you are waiting for and it isn't something on the other side, but it is something you need to do, you are procrastinating.

There is no day like today! Future you will be thankful that you started the work.

Waiting vs Delaying
Sometimes when we need to make a decision, it's hard for us. A lot can be riding on it or it's hard to get in touch with what you really want or need. So we can take the time to wait a little bit, see how we feel, see what happens etc. This helps us out so we don't take impulsive action that backfires. The difference between taking a little time and delaying is when we have exhausted our reflective time, exhausted our analyzing, talked about it with others and still aren't ready to take action.

If nothing is moving anymore, because you aren't moving, then you are delaying. When we have unfinished business from weeks or months ago, this will sap our energy. To stay connected to the flow, sometimes it's just time to experience and see what results it will bring.

Good things come to people who wait (after they did what they needed to do). Want to share your story with waiting? Post it on the blog, Facebook Fan Page or talk to me in the practice.
Dear People,

Time for some more free affirmations. Today's theme is Peace Affirmations. Often we can be in emotional turmoil or in a stressful situation. It always pays off to return to a state of peace and to respond to others from a place of calm. Sometimes a night of sleep already accomplishes that, but when we need a little extra, these affirmations can help!

I write my affirmations in 3 different levels so you can see what resonates with you and what you want to work on.

Pick and choose what works for you and affirm away (I recommend three times a day if you can manage it).


I am willing to let my emotions settle
I am able to process my emotions
I feel peace in my heart

I let go of difficulty
I allow myself to live my life easily and joyfully
Every day I am at peace with myself and the world

I let go of my stress
I am willing to take charge of my stress levels
I make sure I feel at peace regularly

I feel at peace sometimes
I feel at peace regularly
No matter the circumstances, I am in touch with my calm and peaceful center

Have a peace affirmation you want to share? Don't hesitate to post it in a comment on the blog or on the Facebook Fan Page. You can also share your affirmation stories in the practice, by e-mail or publicly online.  
Dear People,

Often I tell people that we are all human and we all make mistakes when I help release blockages. Guilt, frustration and pain can keep us locked in past mistakes and fear and anxiety about future mistakes can paralyse us. So of course it's no wonder that sometimes people ask me about the mistakes I've made and how I felt about them. As a human, it's natural that I do feel frustration with myself, but I also forgive myself as quickly as possible. So here is the blooper reel of mistakes I've made in the practice that are pretty funny in retrospect.

Blooper 1: Sunglasses at night are normal
A lot of people know I have very bad eyesight and my prescription glasses aren't only for correcting seeing well at any distance, but also correct my axis and I have a cylinder in both of the lenses. Bluntly put: I don't see sharp at any distance and almost everybody who looks through my glasses gets dizzy.

So, of course one evening I managed to put on my sunglasses for the bike trip to the practice and forget to bring my sunglasses case, which was holding my normal glasses. I had to do my sessions wearing sunglasses and drive back late at night with them on. I must admit: I did see more then I do without them, but not by much! I can't believe how happy I was I wasn't by car. I guess I would have walked back then.


Blooper 2: That time the intercom went to my phone and I remember I had to start an hour earlier
I asked to have the intercom redirects towards my mobile phone after a few rings as sometimes I'm already moving towards the stairs when a client rings the intercom. Previously my options would be to walk back, pick up the phone and then walk back down or to continue walking back down, rapidly, so the client wouldn't think I wasn't there. So now, I just pick up on mobile and tell you I'm already moving down.


One time a client asked if she could have a session at 7pm, as that would work better with her work schedule. I didn't mind starting earlier just that once, so I put it down in my planner. And promptly forgot about how I had to start earlier when I checked on the date itself. So, imagine my surprise when my mobile phone rings and my client says: "Ok, I'm here" and I had to say: "I'm not, sorry!". I don't think I ever biked as hard in my life. Now, when I work different hours then usual, it's marked in red, with an underline and circle around the time.

Blooper 3: Oh, Blinds work during rain too, right?
The practice is often sunny, so during hot days I usually put the windows open and the blinds down. It helps with the heat quite a lot. When clients come in I close the windows and the curtains, so basically, I forget the outside world exists. I can't believe the countless times I've been home and remembered I left the outside blinds down and have to return to fix that mistake.

I started writing it down on my writing pad, but even then, I'd still forget them. I don't usually look at it again at the end of a session. So, now I put an alarm in my phone at the end of the last session that tells me to put them up.

I'm sure as time goes by more mistakes will be made and I'd have more funny stories to tell. I'm also quite positive that I've forgotten some I've made. Which I think is a happy occurrence, as when we forgiven mistakes we tend to forget them, unless they are especially funny.

Don't hesitate to share your mistakes on the Blog, Facebook Fan Page or with me in the practice. I'm sure we'd be able to forgive and release them when we talk about them.
Dear People,

When we are in the positive flow it feels like making changes is effortless. Also, getting great results helps us to stay motivated and happy. This cycle is extremely joyful when you manage to keep it flowing, so that's why today I'm writing about taking charge of changes in your life. No matter what you want to change, moving forward towards a happier, joyfuller and more fulfilled path is going to be great for you.

Change Busters
There are a lot of reasons why we can say we want a certain change (lose weight, exercise more, meditate more often, switch jobs etc.), but then we don't actually do anything to accomplish them. So if you want to stay in the positive flow, here is your work sheet to first on what not to do:
  1. Overwhelm yourself. Don't think you can plan 5 times a week gym time if all you normally do is sit on the couch. Make sure your changes are realistic, by fitting them in your current life (taking into account your energy levels and time constraints).
  2. Try to make multiple changes at once. Tackle one area first and and only when it has become routine and you do it 4 out of 5 times (or 9 out of 10), move forward towards something new
  3. Make sure you really want to make that change and it's not something you think you are 'supposed' to do. A positive change is only positive if it gives positive results in your life
  4. Your thinking shouldn't be: 'this is hard', 'this is never going to work', but instead should be this (small) step is worthwhile and I'm going to discover what it does for me
Making the Change Exercise
Plan first, work later, is my motto for a productive and joyful day, so that's why this exercise starts with a planning stage.

Planning Stage:
  • Write down what you want to add or remove from your routine
  • If it's something you want to add, check what should be removed or reduced so you have time and energy for the change you want to make
  • If it's something you want to remove, check what need it fills so you know what it's present in your life and how you need to fill that need in a joyful and healthy way. 
  • Plan when you are going to do that (day & time) and how often
Reflection Stage:
  • Reflect on how your plan matches your reality. It's never going to match 100%, but see what happened and what you can do about it. If you didn't stick to it, was it because of time or energy issues (recharge first), was it becomes of lack of motivation (how much do you want this change) or was it because of outside forces (are your boundaries healthy? are you happy with what you did instead?).
  • Praise yourself for every single time you managed to keep to your plan. Do a little happy dance, pat yourself on the back, celebrate with a cup of tea or coffee etc.  It's important to keep the positive flow going and the resulting joy flowing.
  • Check if this change has become routine and if not, how much more do you need to invest in it. Adjust your plan accordingly. If it is, simply plan your next positive step or take a set time to enjoy your accomplishment.
Sample:
Suppose I want to mediate more to be more mindful during my day. I currently meditate once a month. So daily meditation should either be short (5 minute max) or I should plan a weekly meditation that last longer (20 minute max). Else, it will overwhelm me.

If I choose a weekly longer meditation, it's likely that I will pick the weekend for that, so then I need to see what I normally do in my weekend. Maybe I need to go to bed a little earlier and wake up earlier for a meditation before the kids are awake. Maybe I need to stop zoning out in front of the television and do an evening meditation before bed.

If I pick a daily meditation, I need to see where I plan that. Morning which means a better morning routine (can't hurry out the door after meditation) or evening which means a better evening routine (going to bed on time).

After a week or 3 it's time for reflection if you chose a weekly meditation. How did this choice work for me? Do I want to switch to daily or do I want to switch to longer meditation? How did it impact my life? Am I happier and more mindful? Is this change positive?

If you chose daily meditation after 10-15 days you want to check up on yourself. How many days did you meditate? If you did it, did you feel better that day and the day after? On days you didn't, what happened?

Have a change you want to make in your life? Post a comment on the blog, Facebook Fan Page or talk to me to make it happen.
Dear People,

Today is another day to EFT, which will help you achieve those goals. We all want to move forward and we sometimes have a hard time doing so. We often want too much, too fast, so realistic goal setting with EFT helps us to release disappointment, anger and stress.

EFT Sentences on the goal setting
 
Even though I haven't achieved anything yet, I trust in the realistic goal setting process
Even though I had problems with goals before, I trust in the realistic goal setting process
Even though the thought of a goal discourages me, I trust in the realistic goal setting process
Even though I have set unrealistic goals in the past, I trust in the realistic goal setting process
Even though I don't like my track record with goals, I trust in the realistic goal setting process

EFT Sentences on common goal setting blocks

Even though I feel like I failed on my goals, I choose to set new realistic goals and learn from the past
Even though I feel like I never achieved any goals, I choose to set new realistic goals and move forward
Even though my goals have been impossible to achieve before, I choose to set new realistic goals
Even though I feel I can't achieve my goals, I choose to set new realistic goals
Even though I'm stressed out, I choose to set new realistic goals
Even though I feel I have too much on my plate, I choose to set new realistic goals

EFT Sentences on goal setting

Even though it's easy to want everything, I set realistic goals I can achieve
Even though I can get swamped with wants, I set realistic goals I can achieve
Even though it can feel tough to set priorities, I set realistic goals I can achieve

Want to share your story of achieving your goals or ask for some help with the process? Post a message on the Blog, Facebook Fan Page or talk to me in the practice.

Dear People,

We all want a spring in our step: to feel energetic and happy and not to just live our lives stuck in a pattern that doesn't make us happy. Sometimes it's hard to see what truly fulfils us so today I'm writing about how to get that spring in your step back with a little exercise.

Spring in your step feeling
Maybe you are remembering that day that you woke up wonderfully and everything just went your way. Or that wonderful day on your holiday or any other time when you felt like the King/Queen of the World.

This is a lovely feeling and I strive to feel it at least once weekly, working towards feeling it daily. If you have never felt this, please try some of the tips or try the exercise.

Tips to introduce a spring in your step
  1. Set a Goal, work towards it and celebrate when you hit it.
  2. Indulge in a 'guilty' pleasure
  3. Dance, sing or express yourself in other ways
  4. Exercise to reconnect with your body
  5. Paint, Draw or express yourself creatively in other ways
  6. Do something your passionate about
  7. Laugh 
  8. Meditate
Spring in your Step Exercise
This exercise is specifically to build up yourself up if you are tired and stressed, towards a peaceful feeling and then towards passion, energetic and spring in your step level.



Reducing Stress
Close your eyes
Breath in softly, slowly and deeply
Allow yourself to feel your body
Place your hands on your belly around your hara point (a little below the belly button)
Repeat the mantra: I am strong enough to deal with life easily
Stay until you feel strong and powerful and notice relaxation in your whole body

Promoting Peace
Close your eyes
Breath in softly, slowly and deeply
 Place your hands around your heart
Repeat the mantra: I feel peace in my heart
Stay until you feel at peace

Spring in your Step
Open your eyes
Smile at yourself
Shake your body until you feel passion flowing
Joyfully laugh or dance or move in any way that makes you happy
Sing or affirm something that makes you happy
Leave to dance through your life
 

Want to share what gives you a spring in your step? Comment on the Blog, Facebook Fan Page or talk to me in the practice.

Dear People,

Time for some more free affirmations. Today's theme is Truth Affirmations. Sometimes it's hard to find our own personal truth or to see the truth of a situation. Our emotions, expectations or worries can cloud the issue. That really can do a number on seeing the solutions that are available to us at any time.

Pick and choose what works for you and affirm away (I recommend three times a day if you can manage it).

I'm honest with myself
I'm honest with others
I'm honest

I search for my truth
I find my truth 
I live my truth

I am willing to see the truth
I acknowledge my truth
I set aside everything but the truth

I'm willing to speak my truth with love and compassion
I express my truth
I live my truth

Have a truth affirmation you want to share? Don't hesitate to post it in a comment on the blog or on the Facebook Fan Page. You can also share your affirmation stories in the practice or by e-mail.  
Dear People,

Recently somebody asked me what I do during the day time when I don't work with clients. This meant of course that they wondered if I had a second job (no, I don't), but it's also a good opportunity to let people know what I actually do. Of course I'd be more then happy for the practice to grow more and am aiming to move towards 12-15 sessions a week. Why not more? Well, because of all the other work I do.

Client contact
During the hours that I don't have sessions, I answer e-mails and phone calls from clients. I often have several e-mails a day from people who want to book a session, change a session, give feedback, tell me how they are doing or ask questions about my services. Call aren't that frequent but people appreciate that they can reach me between 19.00-20.00. I sometimes get WhatsApp messages too.

Session preparation
I always prepare my sessions as I prefer to see the energy, major blockages and themes before starting a session. It helps me see how emotional/heavy a session is going to be, find common ground with clients and keep the session on track. I usually take around 30 minutes a client, but sometimes it's longer if I get a lot of information and sometimes it's shorter if we already e-mailed between sessions.



Brainstorming & Writing
I love spending time brainstorming on what type of courses I want to give, what type of workshops I want to develop, what type of things I want to with the practice. This does mean that I have had some big projects like the 100% Positivity Deck and the online learning program. I also regularly update the blog.

I also like to read spiritual books, so I keep on learning and developing what my message is and what I believe is right for me.


Promotion
I don't spend that much time on promotion, but I do write my own articles for the paper and usually make my own graphic designs as well. I also send out press releases for my workshops, courses and other activities. I put the activities on the blog, website and Facebook Fan Page.

I do get a lot of calls of businesses who want me to advertise with them. Usually I don't do that as I have a few businesses where I'm happy to be with. Sometimes there are great opportunities though, so that is why I've been on national television!


Paperwork
Sadly, I think I spend too much time on paperwork! I'm required to write down what I do with my time. I have to update my agenda, write down what I got paid, pay my own bills and check up on if I'm on track with my earnings. I don't mind much of the administration work, but some things do feel a bit redundant. Why does the tax man need to see that I spend 15 minutes writing an e-mail?

Exchanges
For my work I want to be in tip-top shape and it does help to also get a critique of your work from people who work in the healing business themselves. Sometimes I have 2 exchanges in the same week, sometimes I have 2 in 4 months. It depends on the schedule of the people I exchange with of course. I love my exchange partners! It's very happy work to help each other grow.


Self-Care
I find self care extremely important, because I want to give my clients the best. This means my body is indeed my temple. A peaceful emotional state helps me as well as my clients. I have regular massages, like to go to the sauna and eat out. I EFT regularly too to make sure that my own personal circumstances don't enter into the practice.

I'm sure I forgot things that I do, but now people will probably see how 12 hours of clients can snowball into a 60 hour work week. One of the reasons I hate writing down what I do is when I see how much hours I truly make. I can spend hours on the practice and be very happy with that, but am always striving for a health work-life balance!

Have a question for me? Ask me in the practice, post a comment on the Blog or write something on the Facebook Fan Page!
Dear People,

After my recent move the idea of Sacred Space is more alive then ever in my life - so I thought I'd write about it on the blog. You might already have a space where you feel more at home or at ease, but it's also fun to create one just for you. It can help clarify difficult decisions and help ease hard situations.

Sacred Space
A Sacred Space is different for everybody, but most of us have places that we feel are special. When I ask people to tell me about their special places these are often named:
  • A place that has happy memories ~ made during holidays, weddings, festivals, childhood etc.
  • A room in your own home ~ where you feel most at home
  • A place in nature ~ woods, park, beach, sea, ocean
  • A place involving food ~ restaurants,  bakeries, coffee places, candy shops etc.
This special place is where we want to go when we are sad, when we want to think, when we want to be cheered up or when we want to celebrate something special.

Creating a Sacred Space: Energetically
I always recommend creating a sacred space in your home. A lot of people start thinking of buying furniture, incense or other things to make it special, but the easier way is to start energetically. Pick a place where you want to be. Every day take yourself there with positive intent and watch the positive vibes build up. You can also meditate there or do healing work to permeate the space with loving energy. Visualize a healing lattice or energy balls and you will soon start to feel the power of the Sacred Space.

Creating a Sacred Space: Attributes
You can also of course buy things that help your Sacred Space to feel sacred to you. You might want to hang up art or photo's that have meaning to you. Paint the walls or place down a rug. Bring in some flowers or plants. Add in furniture that you love or that has meaning to you. Let it smell great by spraying perfume or using incense. Bring in your favorite tea, coffee or other beverage.

I prefer to have something for all of the senses in my space: seeing, smelling, hearing, tasting and touching, but you can mix and match until you feel comfortable.

I also prefer to have each from all of the elements in my space (wood, fire, earth, metal, water), but you can also use (water, fire, earth, air) or add in Spirit. You can also use Feng Shui to make your place vibrant and alive.

Allow your space to grow to your heart's content, but don't feel bad if you want to change things up as your ideas on what is right for you changes. Even a little nook or a part of a shelf can be enough of a sacred space, you don't have to set aside a room.

Using a Sacred Space
Using a Sacred Space is easy! Just go there all the time.
Make sure you bring in positive energy when you feel joyful and healthy and whole. 
Help yourself process feelings when you feel sad, angry or upset.
Find clarity when you are in the midst of chaos.

Leave your space when you feel whole and at ease (or when your busy life calls!).

Do you have a Sacred Space? Want to share a picture or talk about what's in it? Let me know by commenting on the blog, Facebook Fan Page or talking to me at the practice.
Dear People,

Time for some more free affirmations. Today's theme is Growth Affirmations. We all want to grow in life, but sometimes that process is painful, difficult or elusive. Again, I write my affirmations in 3 different levels so you can see what resonates with you and what you want to work on.

Pick and choose what works for you and affirm away (I recommend three times a day if you can manage it).


I am willing to grow
I am growing in healthy ways
I trust my growth

I stop fearing growth
I stop delaying my growth
Every day I grow towards my potential

What is right for me stays, the rest I release
I grow towards the best version of me 
I grow towards in my best potential in my soul's journey

I understand true growth
I move towards true growth
True growth is always worthwhile for me

Have a growth affirmation you want to share? Don't hesitate to post it in a comment on the blog or on the Facebook Fan Page. You can also share your affirmation stories in the practice, by e-mail or publicly online.  
Dear People,

We all want to progress in life: to learn, to achieve our goals and to move forward. Today I'm going to talk about some different ways of measuring progress. I don't think I will ever outgrow the need to measure things as I love reflecting and taking stock. It helps to keep me motivated and to see where I need to do more work and to enjoy my results. It's no wonder I was studying to be an engineer!

Progress Measurement: Physical results
Most people measure their progress in this way, so this needs very little explanation. However, while it's the most common way to measure progress I don't always feel that it's the most accurate.

Examples:
  • When we want to lose weight we check the scale and see how much we weigh.
  • When we want to stop smoking we check if we smoked or not
  • When we want to have a relationship we check how our dates are going 
 When people don't see physical results they often get discouraged. They feel 0 progress has been made, but that's not always the case.

Progress Measurement: Emotional progress
While working towards our goals we often find out that we have emotional blockages that keep us stuck. We might be afraid to move forward, we might find we sabotage ourselves or have past issues need healing. Emotional progress might not immediately give physical results, but it makes sure that changes we make are lasting.

Examples:
  • We feel excited/happy about changes that we want to make
  • We accept the status quo 
  • We feel strong and energetic enough to make changes
  • We don't feel easily discouraged when a change takes longer or when we have a regression
  • We can celebrate every little breakthrough
Progress Measurement: Mental progress
While working towards our goals we can also have mental blockages that can keep us stuck. We might not see a way out of the situation or worry incessantly about it. We might have trouble getting the information we need, to stick to a certain path or make the behavioral changes that we need. Again, mental progress doesn't immediately give physical result, but it helps make lasting changes.

Examples:
  • We think about solutions, not problems
  • We can honestly analyze what is going on
  • We feel confident 
  • We are able to brainstorm instead of stress out
Truthful Measuring
I prefer asking myself the following questions:
  • What has changed?
Have I seen changes in myself? Have I seen changes in the world around me? Do I still feel the same about the goal? Did I see things that could help me? Did anybody offer help? Did I receive information.
  • If nothing has changed, why is that?
    Is there something that was more important? Have I invested time/energy into the change I wanted? If not, why not? Am I sabotaging myself or have I chosen other priorities willingly and knowingly?
    • If I would start on my goals today, what would I do?
    When do I want to recheck my progress? What do I want to plan? What do I want to do? What extra actions can I take?

    Have a goal you want to progress on? Comment on the blog or Facebook Fan Page or talk to me!

    Dear People,

    Ready to keep those EFT muscles working with some more helpful sentences? Today I chose to give you some sentences on letting go. A lot of us has trouble releasing troublesome feelings that keep us from being the best we can be.

    EFT Sentences on letting go easily
     
    Even though I'm stuck in my anger, I let go easily and completely
    Even though I'm stuck in my pain, I let go easily and completely
    Even though I'm stuck in my grief, I let go easily and completely
    Even though I feel emotionally stuck, I let go easily and completely
    Even though I'm stuck in <this emotion>,  I let go easily and completely
    Even though I feel emotionally swamped, I let go easily and completely

    EFT Sentences on common thoughts of letting go

    Even though I think I can't let go, I choose to let go easily
    Even though I think I don't let go easily, I choose to change this pattern right now
    Even though I think letting go is hard, I choose to let go easily from now on
    Even though I feel my emotions are often stuck, I choose to let go easily
    Even though people told me letting go is hard, I choose to let go easily
    Even though I think a lot has to happen for me to let go, I choose to let go easily
    Even though letting go might feel letting somebody off the hook, I choose to let go easily

    EFT Sentences on letting go

    Even though letting go has been difficult for me, I choose a healthier path
    Even though I feel emotionally overwhelmed, I can feel emotionally healthy
    Even though I can't seem to find peace, I choose to let go of negativity

    Want to share your story of letting go or ask for some help with the process? Post a message on the Blog, Facebook Fan Page or talk to me in the practice.