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Psychic Healer Rianne Collignon's blog: filled with articles about her work, her services and spiritual and holistic topics
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Dear People,

Power Struggle is a very damaging dynamic in which winning becomes more important then anything else. It's a dynamic that knows only losers, because there is no healthy outcome. Yet it is one of the most insidious dynamics in relationships to stop, so today I'm writing about recognizing and stopping power struggles.

What is a Power Struggle?
The short version: a Power Struggle is a fight about control between you and another person. For example: between you and your child about what gets eaten at dinner or between you and your spouse about what you will do in the weekend.

The long version: 
While a power struggle looks to be about control (what happens/what decision is made) when you look closer you can see a lot of emotions and thoughts connected to a struggle. Fear, Anger, Loss, Betrayal, Feeling unloved or like a failure etc. almost always play a role.

If those feelings and thought patterns aren't addressed, nothing is really resolved. Even if you get your way, your partner will struggle with these and it won't be a true win. If you lose, you get to hold the bag and it won't be a true win for your partner.

Solving the power struggle: Tactic 1: Stop Struggling
What ever you are trying to accomplish, whatever you want, whoever you are trying to control let it go. Drop the rope. Stop trying to convince your partner, child or friend. Heal your own emotions and thought patterns first. Acknowledge why something is important for you, without putting blame on your struggle partner. Put your wishes back into perspective and often you will find that the other person is more willing to listen, understand and compromise now that you have let go. You yourself might be surprised at how little you actually 'care' now that you have stopped the struggle and healed your issues.

Solving the power struggle: Tactic 2: Get back on the Team
In a power struggle both parties feel they are right, both feel that it's absolutely necessary to receive what you want, to gain control. This mindset is destructive: we don't want losers in our relationships. Whenever somebody loses (energy, love, patience etc.) or receives trauma (betrayal, pain, heartbreak) our relationship suffers. We also still have to deal with what happened, because someone we love is in pain. So step out of the mindset. Get back on the team. Ask your struggle partner what you can do to help, listen to them on what is going on with them, help them first and then ask for help in return. Make it a team effort to find compromise, make a plan and move forward.

Solving the power struggle: Tactic 3: Allow outside help
Maybe there is somebody who can mediate or if there isn't, you can ask your Guides, Angels, God, The Universe or whatever positive force you are comfortable with to intercede for you. Find it in your heart to move towards a solution, instead of 'getting your way' by asking for help.
Want to solve a power struggle or talk about one that's currently in your life? Post a comment on the Blog or Facebook Fan Page or talk to me in the practice.
Dear People,

Time for some more free affirmations. Today's theme is Luck Affirmations. We all would like more lucky in life. I often hear people regularly affirm that they aren't, by saying: "I never win anything" or similar sentiments. Life is a lot easier when you are lucky: you are were you need to be at the right time, you receive miracles regularly and of course it's always fun to win things.

I write my affirmations in 3 different levels so you can see what resonates with you and what you want to work on.

Pick and choose what works for you and affirm away (I recommend three times a day if you can manage it).

I am willing to be more open to luck
I am willing to be lucky
I am always lucky

I appreciate my luck 
I appreciate my luck regularly
I always appreciate my luck

I am lucky in love
I am lucky in money matters
I am lucky in life

I feel lucky
I feel like a lucky person
I feel like a lucky soul

My luck (regularly/always) brings me joy
My luck (regularly/always) brings me happiness
My luck (regularly/always) brings me miracles

Have a luck affirmation you want to share? Don't hesitate to post it in a comment on the blog or on the Facebook Fan Page. You can also share your affirmation stories in the practice, by e-mail or publicly online.  
 



Dear People,

A lot of the time I talk with people about healing their birth families (which they were raised in) and their core families (that they build themselves). We all receive patterns from our birth family that we continue into our own core families. This why sometimes patterns become Ancestral problems, which each generation being out of balance. So, today I'm going to write about how to recognize these unhealthy patterns, forgive the generations above us and below us and heal them.

Recognizing unhealthy family patterns
If you look at the generations above you and below you what type of family story do you see emerge? Does everybody have a good job or are some people workaholics (unbalanced) or unmotivated (unbalanced in the other direction). How does your family deal with money? Are some people extremely stingy while others give away too freely? How about love? Are the relationships healthy or do you have many divorces or abusive relationships or people who refuse to start a relationship. How about self-esteem?

An unhealthy pattern doesn't mean that all family members do exactly the same thing. Like the questions above usually a few family members choose one extreme while the other family members choose another. To see the unhealthy pattern, to most common question should be: Does my family deal healthily with love, friendships, self-esteem, learning, money, health etc. and if not, which extreme patterns do I see?

What is the difference in healing a personal pattern vs a family pattern?
If there is a personal pattern and for example you are the only one in your family having self esteem issues, there is often personal trauma involved. You might have had a harsh teacher or been bullied at school.

If it's a family pattern the problem is often much more difficult to root out, because none of your family can help you build healthy self-esteem, because none of them have it. It often means that the problem becomes reinforced as your parents might teach you to work extra hard to prove yourself while pointing out other family members who 'amount to nothing' as they took the other extreme and decided not to play the rat-race game.


So when struggling with an unhealthy pattern that is difficult to heal, take some time to check how your family deals with it. A family pattern could have been caused by trauma to an ancestor high up, so it's hard to figure out what happened, but it can also have happened to your mother, father or grandparents so it might be easier to find out what the 'start trauma' was. It will bring you more understanding and forgiveness, but it's not necessary to find out the start trauma to heal it.

Exercise: Healing an unhealthy family pattern
  • Write down in detail what you feel is the unhealthy pattern and what everybody's role is in it.
  • Write down what you need to do to transform your role from unhealthy to healthy
  • Imagine yourself transforming this in your life and your good example showing others in your family how to do this for themselves
  • Sit with the light of transformation within you until you feel cleared and at peace.
  • Ask for the light of your transformation to be moved through the generations above and below you
  • Ask for transformation again if you feel you are backsliding into the pattern and make sure you move it through your whole family tree again
Want to talk about your family patterns? Post a comment on this blog, the Facebook Fan Page or talk to me in the practice.