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Psychic Healer Rianne Collignon's blog: filled with articles about her work, her services and spiritual and holistic topics
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Dear People,

We can't escape grief in our lives, because one way or another we will all experience loss. Loss can come in many forms like the loss of a person, a pet or a part of ourselves, but also the loss of a relationship, friendship or an object. We often react to loss with fear, anger, denial and sadness, but we can also choose to respond in a different way. Today I'm writing about three ways people can react to loss to help us understand ourselves and others in our grief.

If you want to work on your grief with EFT on your own, please look at the EFT and Grief blog post.

Head/Heart/Belly System
A few years ago I started working with my own system to explain ways in which we can react and how we can balance those energy systems. A lot of people feel strive between Head and Heart, or between thoughts and feelings, but the Belly is also an important energy system that houses our instincts.

For the purpose of this article, I won't get into the whole system, but in a nutshell Head is our mind, our thoughts, our analytical side, Heart is our emotional side, our feelings and Belly is our instinctual side, our side that wants action. We are a combination of these sides, but we might find some of them easier then others and might have a preferred way to react.

Grieving through Heart Center
This type of grieving is the one we all universally recognize; grieving purely emotionally. It can come in tears, sobs, hysterical crying, but also in pulling hairs or truly becoming hysterical. In many movies, this is the only type of grief shown, as it's quite visual.

People who grieve through the heart center often want a lot of comfort, encouragement, talking and physical contact. That's because the other centers help stabilize the hurting heart center. If they are past the worst of their grief, they often want to speak about the deceased.

They often look through the emotional lens at everything. As such it can be hard if you grieve differently to deal with primarily heart center grievers. Even things that you might deem unimportant or easy to solve (like throwing out the trash in the deceased house or signing the divorce papers) is a huge emotional happening.

Misunderstanding can easily arise and giving comfort to primarily heart center grievers can be super draining. So instead of making them feel overly sensitive, dramatic or childish or hearing accusations of being heartless step away from them when you need to to recharge.

Grieving though Head Center
Primarily Head center grievers show their grief by trying to make sense of things on an analytical level. They often are busy thinking things through, making plans for the funeral and keeping things running smoothly. They often get praise for being 'a rock that can be counted on', as they don't tend to show much emotional turmoil in their grief.

People who grief through the head center are most commonly known to say things like: "If it's your time it's your time", making it sound like they are much further along in their grieving process (acceptance) or that they just don't care. Neither is true, they are just trying to find a way of dealing with their grief. They often prefer to be alone with their thoughts, but trying to support them through loving actions or helping them give voice to their emotions is still very beneficial.

They look through the mental lens at everything. It's much harder for them to let go of grief and often they have an (emotional) break down later, when everything is arranged or when a plan doesn't come together. They will rant about the unfairness of it all or get really sad.

Often people who grief through the head center sound like they have it all figured out and so we forget to give comfort to them. As such, it's easy for head center grievers to feel a little bit abandoned. Remind yourself that even when we have it all figured out, it's still nice when somebody wants to help us.

Grieving through Belly Center 
Primarily Belly Center grievers show their grief by trying to get things done and often have a physical component to their grief. They like to run to clear their head, clear out the house of the deceased or just go the gym to feel better. They often annoy other grievers with their urge to process their grief by doing things.

People who grief through the belly center often are the one's most gungho about moving forward, leaving heart grievers upset and head grievers unwilling to do things 'without a plan'. This isn't because they aren't grieving, they just feel like they aren't able to process things without things moving forward.

They look through a physical/instinctual lens at everything. As such they feel they can process their grief by moving forward, cleaning up things, moving stuff or even cutting their hair. Physical changes bring them comfort.

Often people who grief through the belly center look like they have processed the grief already or don't deeply grieve due to their huge drive forward. This isn't true and a lot of time this leads to very painful misunderstandings. Where head grievers are told they have 'no heart', because they want to discuss and plan, belly grievers are told they are just want to forget about the loss or pretend it doesn't exist.

Comfort belly center grievers by doing something with them, even if it's just cooking a meal or taking a walk. Acknowledge that they are grieving in their own way and that they have the right to do so. They might also like making a memento to process their grief.

Want to share something about grief or have questions on processing yours?
Post a comment on the blog, reach me through Facebook,  e-mail me or ask me in the practice.
Dear People,

Some days it's hard to stay cheerful, as life seems to conspires to kick us when we are down. Sometimes it just seems that we are stuck in a rut or only going through difficult times. Cheerfulness is a way to bring back joy, openness and energy into our lives. Sometimes when we don't have anybody able to cheer us up, we need to do it for ourselves!

I write my affirmations in different levels so you can see what resonates with you and what you want to work on. You might start with a lower level that resonates and then move your way up.

Pick and choose what works for you and affirm away (I recommend three times a day if you can manage it).


I choose to find something cheerful about my day
I choose to cheer myself up
I choose to cheer myself on

I can always see the cheer in myself
I can always see the cheer in others
I can always see the cheer in life
 
I choose to be cheerful
I choose to be cheerful in the face of the difficulties
I choose to be cheerful during difficult times

I believe in the power of cheerfulness
I experience the power of cheerfulness (daily)
I embrace the power of cheerfulness 
I embody the power of cheerfulness

I am a source of cheerful actions
I am a source of cheerful thoughts
I am a source of cheerfulness
I am always in good cheer

Have an affirmation you want to share? Don't hesitate to post it in a comment on the blog or on the Facebook Fan Page. You can also share your affirmation stories in the practice, by e-mail or publicly online
Dear People,

Family, we all have them and they greatly influence our lives. All children want their parents to be happy, all parent's aren't perfect. We often strive for family harmony, but few of us seem to achieve it. Some of us need to remove ourselves from our families for our own well being, while others of us have trouble letting go of the past.

So today I'm writing some EFT sentences to help family relations. This can be helpful even if you have permanently severed ties, as that often comes with a lot of pain, guilt and unhappiness. It also helps with gently explaining to others what happened in our families, counteracting the: "but it's still your mom/dad/sister/brother/grandparent"-outbursts from people with happier family relations. Please be mindful that forgiveness doesn't mean contact.

Forgiveness
Even though my <family member> couldn't give me what I needed, I let go of my anger
Even though my <family member> couldn't give me what I needed, I let go of my sadness
Even though my <family member> couldn't give me what I needed, I let go of my disappointment
Even though my <family member> couldn't give me what I needed, I forgive everybody involved
Even though I don't feel a part of my family, I understand we are all connected
Even though I'm not happy being part of my family, I chose to understand our connection
Even though I'm not happy being part of my family, I forgive everybody involved
Even though I have problems with <family member>, I choose to let go of these problems
Even though I have problems with <family member>, I choose to resolve them
Even though I have problems with <family member>, I choose to forgive.

Breaking the cycle
Even though everybody in my family has this <bad behavior>, I choose to have healthy behaviors
Even though everybody in my family has this <health issue>, I choose to heal this in myself
Even though everybody in my family has this <problem>, I choose to solve this for myself
Even though I'm stuck in a family problem, I choose to move forward
Even though I'm stuck in a family pattern, I choose to move forward
Even though I'm stuck in a family cycle, I choose to move forward

Understanding and acceptance
Even though I don't see a reason why <family member> behaves this way, I choose understanding
Even though I don't know why <family member> behaves this way, I choose understanding
Even though I don't understand why <family member> behaves this way, I choose understanding
Even though I don't understand why <family member> makes these choices, I choose to accept them
Even though I don't understand why <family member> lives this way, I choose to accept them
Even though I don't understand why <family member> is this way, I choose to accept them

Family breakdowns
Even though I'm hurt by other people's responses, who I choose to call family is my choice
Even though I can't seem to understand people's responses, who I choose to call family is my choice
Even though I'm annoyed by other people's responses, who I choose to call family is my choice
Even though I'm upset that I broke up my family, I choose to forgive myself
Even though I'm hurt that I had to make this choice, I choose to forgive myself
Even though I'm in pain with the current state of my family, I made the choice that's right for me
Even though I feel guilty I couldn't solve things, I forgive myself completely
Even though I feel guilty I couldn't save my family, I forgive myself completely

Want to chat about dealing with family relationships? Post a message on the blog, Facebook Fan Page or e-mail me for a personalized EFT sentence!


Dear People,

Sometimes people ask me if I'm willing to sell their products. In all honesty, I doubt I'd ever sell third party products in my practice. Not because I don't believe in their value, but because I have several concerns. 

Concern 1: Effectiveness
I prefer to try out any therapy of therapeutic methods on myself and on several other people to test effectiveness. I wouldn't want to recommend or endorse something that doesn't give great results. As such I often have people volunteering for free sessions if I want to try out something new or I choose to bring something to my free Healing or Reading Evening to try it out with a group of people. I will tell them it's a new thing and that I'd love to hear their comments on it.

I often practice things for a longer time period (3-6 months) before I offer it as a paid service. There are some therapies that I find very effective that I choose not to offer, for example because they are very time intensive (4+ hour sessions isn't something I want to offer), energy intensive (it would be costly if I can't work for a full day after a therapy session) or because it's hard to set a set time upon them (which means scheduling the session would be impossible).

With a lot of products, trying for this type of effectiveness can be incredibly costly. I also don't like having a small sample group, because this won't give an honest view. I know that if something works great for me, there are no guarantees that it will work great for others. The other way around counts too: if it doesn't do anything for me, doesn't mean that others won't benefit.

People wanting me to sell their product often wax on the studies they have that show effectiveness or tell me anecdotes of people they helped. That's fine, but I believe in trusting my own experiences. After all, it's my integrity on the line when I choose to endorse, not theirs.

Concern 2: Side effects
I do not hold a degree in or have extensive knowledge of herbs. While I do use such products in my personal life, I use them under the supervision of trained professionals. So if I had an averse reaction, they can help me navigate it.  They also give great advise on how herbal supplements work with existing medication or other health issues.

Often people in my practice have complex issues so a lot of care is needed. I am very uncomfortable with the idea that I would be the one responsible for side-effects or health issues cropping up from products I'm endorsing. I just don't have the knowledge to do so, so my integrity demands that if I feel somebody would benefit of a physical component/product, I refer them to a trained professional.

People wanting me to sell their product often downplay the chances of side effects. They will often tell me there are none or if there are some, they hardly ever happen and/or are very small. Again, it's my integrity there, not theirs, so when I'm not comfortable, I'm not and I won't go against myself.

Concern 3: Reasons to sell
A lot of the time people who approached me to endorse a product, will emphasize how I can earn a lot of money selling this product. They insist it will bring me a nice cash flow and that this wonder product helps everybody.

One of those things I immediately don't believe: no product helps everybody, because we are all different. I can't even help everybody with my gifts, that's why I refer people beforehand or when I see insufficient results.

The second reason, getting a lot of cash, is often doubtful, but even if it was true, I wouldn't want to get rich selling something I don't believe in or trust. I prefer to make my money doing something that's right for me and selling products that I'm comfortable selling (like my own Oracle).

Does that mean you can't ask me to sell your product or you can't tell me about something you are using that if helping you a lot? Of course not, I love to hear about experiences you have. Just because chances that I will use it professionally are low, doesn't mean I wouldn't want to use it personally or aren't interested in learning more about what is available.

Want to ask me a question? Post a comment to the Blog, ask me in the practice or send me an e-mail.
Dear People,

One way or another we all have times when we feel overwhelmed. We can be overwhelmed due to many different things like: having physical problems meaning we are behind on our work, heavy emotional things happening in our life or just a lot of mental work.

So today I'm writing some EFT sentences to stop feeling overwhelmed and start working on the root issue. If we don't stop this overwhelmed feeling we might burn out mentally, physically or emotionally or try to run away in games, tv, alcohol or other (unhealthy) pursuits.

Acknowledging the feeling
Even though I feel totally overwhelmed right now, I know there is a way through
Even though I feel totally overwhelmed right now, I am strong enough to tackle this
Even though I feel totally overwhelmed right now, I choose to let go of my stress
Even though I feel totally overwhelmed right now, I know I can handle it
Even though I feel totally overwhelmed right now, I take care of myself
Even though even the simplest things feel heavy now, I take care of myself
Even though even a single thing feels like too much, I can handle it
Even though it feels like this work is never ending, I move forward

Self-Care
Even though it's easy to lose myself in this overwhelming situation, I choose to relax sometimes
Even though it's easy to lose myself in this overwhelming situation, I choose to eat right
Even though it's easy to lose myself in this overwhelming situation, I choose to sleep enough
Even though it's easy to lose myself in this overwhelming situation, I choose to take care of myself
Even though I feel upset and overwhelmed, I take care of myself
Even though it feels there is no time, I make time for myself
Even though it feels there is no space for me, I create space for myself
Even though it feels like I'm drowning, I connect to my inner peace and joy
Even though it feels like I can't deal with it, I connect to my inner strength and power

Getting the solution started
Even though I don't see an end to this feeling, I choose to find solutions
Even though I feel alone and overwhelmed, I know help is just around the corner
Even though I feel alone and overwhelmed, I ask for help
Even though I feel I need to do it alone, I ask for help
Even though I don't see any solutions, I find inspiration everywhere to tackle this
Even though I don't see any solutions, I listen to my intuition to find the right way
Even though I don't see any solutions, I choose to ask and receive them from others
Even though I don't see any solutions, I trust that there are several available to me
Even though I'm stuck in this situation, I know this too shall pass

Want to chat about dealing with overwhelming feelings or to-do lists? Post a message on the blog, Facebook Fan Page or e-mail me for a personalized EFT sentence!
Dear People,

Some days we might feel extra vulnerable or feel unsafe which is hard on our energy levels and on our mental and emotional health. The best way to solve this is to make sure to stay in situations where we are safe - however that isn't always possible. Sometimes we get into unexpected unsafe situations, sometimes a situation needs handling no matter our feelings about it and sometimes need to work on our courage. True safety isn't in no bad things ever happening to us, but in knowing we can handle life easily and with grace. So that's why I wrote some affirmations today to feel better while bravely striding forward.

I write my affirmations in different levels so you can see what resonates with you and what you want to work on. You might start with a lower level that resonates and then move your way up.

Pick and choose what works for you and affirm away (I recommend three times a day if you can manage it).

I can always look out for myself
I can take charge of all situations
I can take care of myself
I can stand up for myself

I can easily deal with situation X
I can easily deal with life 
I can easily deal with everything in life

I can protect my energy field 
I can protect myself
I am safe in my emotions
I am safe in my thoughts
I am safe in my life

I always feel protected
I always feel protected by my guardian angels
I always feel protected by God 

I am always protected
I am always safe
I am always protected by my guardian angels
I am always protected by God

Have an affirmation you want to share? Don't hesitate to post it in a comment on the blog or on the Facebook Fan Page. You can also share your affirmation stories in the practice, by e-mail or publicly online. 

Dear People,

Often in our lives we experience pain. Pain can exist on all levels: physical, emotional, mental and even spiritual. Some anguish can be so difficult that it feels like our soul is dying or we are. A lot of people try to suppress, evade or even ignore pain, but in the end all pain serves a purpose. Today I'm writing about some of these purposes so you can choose to learn the lesson and let go of your pain. I also included an exercise because letting go of pain helps us immediately gain more energy, happiness and peace.

Pain as a warning
Even children sometimes learn the lesson of pain the best by experiencing it as a warning. You can tell them a 100 times not to touch because it's hot, but once touched, they often learn immediately not to do it again. Adults also still learn in this way - sometimes we get warnings that something or someone is bad for us, but we move forward anyway. We need to get burnt to make sure we take ourselves, our intuition and our warnings seriously.

The resulting pain is a potent reminder for us that what we are doing isn't right and that we need to change course. It reminds us to trust our instincts, intuition or the friends who warned us. The remembrance of this pain will help us make much better decisions, but keeping the pain alive to punish ourselves or to stay in victim mode is unhealthy.

Pain as a lesson in what matters
Sometimes we don't know how much we appreciate something or someone until it's gone. Losing out is deeply hurtful. When our expectations aren't met we recognize how much they mattered to us. It might mean that we really want to be treated with respect or that we want somebody to be our friend or approve of us.

While of course we aren't happy, this pain gives us important information on what matters to us most. What we should spend time, energy and attention on. Jealousy or envy is also a pain that shows us what matters; after all, when we want what others have, it shows us what matters to us.

Pain as a trigger of change
One of the most annoying pains is the one of guilt or resentment. On one hand we have done something we aren't proud of (so we feel guilty) in the other we feel the other person hasn't done their part (we feel resentment). These types of pain can be a trigger of change in the behavior in ourselves.

We will most likely choose to treat another person with more respect or kindness next time we encounter a similar situation, because nobody likes the sting of guilt. We also might choose not to move into sacrifice or communicate clearly with others so we don't feel resentment.

Exercise: Processing Pain
Set aside at least 15-20 minutes to do this exercise. You might also like some alone time after this, to settle yourself. If you know you have problems accessing your emotions, you can use a crystal, music or other aids to help you access a safe space.
  • Breathe deeply in and out a few times
  • Say aloud: "I am in pain" 2-3 times to access the pain that's been bothering you
  • Place one hand on the place where you feel this pain
  • If possible, place the other hand on a place of strength (solar plexus Chakra, heart Chakra, outside item)
  • Say aloud: "I choose to know the purpose of my pain"
  • If the pain lessens, place the strength hand on your Crown Chakra and listen
  • If the pain doesn't lessen, move back to the previous place of just feeling your pain or ask that your pain might be lifted/processed 
  • Once you have heard the purpose, it's time to completely let go of the pain
  • Say aloud: "I chose to let go of this pain or I free myself of this pain"
  • You can symbolically cleanse yourself, move the pain towards a Guide, Angels, The Universe, God or any other source of good. 
  • Sit quietly until you feel at peace
Want to get rid of some stubborn pain or share your experience with this exercise? Talk to me in the practice, leave a message on the blog or Facebook Fan Page.
Dear People,

One way or another we all have to confront grief in our lives. We can find it in many forms from the grief of a child that you can't have what you want till the heavy grief of losing a loved one. Grief is a part of life that can become heavy very fast. We might want to suppress it because of that, but then it will pop up unexpectedly and subconsciously influence our behavior. 

So today I'm writing some EFT sentences to allow grief to have it's place in our lives, to help with the feelings that come up when we grieve (anger, sadness, feeling like nothing matters, etc.) and to help move on from grief. If your grief is overwhelming, please seek help.
Allowing grief
Even though I don't want to allow grief in my life, I know I need to feel my feelings and process this
Even though I want to hide from my grief, I choose to process it
Even though I'm afraid my grief will overwhelm me, I choose to process it bit by bit
Even though it might feel comfortable to distract myself, I choose to process my grief
Even though I don't want to deal with my grief, I choose to process it

Processing stages of grief
Even though I want to deny my loss, I choose to confront it anyway
Even though I want to pretend I'm not hurting, I choose to process my feelings
Even though I want to remove myself from my grief, I choose to process my feeling
Even though I'm angry about my loss, I choose to process my anger
Even though I'm angry and frustrated, I choose to move on
Even though I'm angry at X, I choose to forgive and move on
Even though I want to pretend nothing is wrong, I choose to seek help
Even though I want to pretend I'm not hurting, I choose to accept my feelings
Even though this loss has me feeling depressed, I choose to see meaning in my life
Even though I might struggle with depressing feelings, I choose to see joy in my life

Acceptance
Even though I don't like my grief, I choose to accept it
Even though I don't like grieving, I choose to accept it as a part of life
Even though I can't accept my grief, I choose to open up to it
Even though I have a hard time grieving, I accept that it's necessary

Want to chat about grief or share your own story? Post a message on the blog, Facebook Fan Page or e-mail me for a personalized EFT sentence!

Dear People,

I think all of us would love it when people would just easily respect our boundaries. A clear no is a clear no and not a start of a negotiation. An explanation of our reasons is a way to foster understanding and not a discussion on the validity of those reasons. Sadly, boundary stomping exists and while some of it is done unintentionally, not all of it is. So here is an article to deal better with people who won't respect our boundaries or who try to test if we are willing to keep to them.

Boundary testing: not respecting a No
Your boss has asked you to work on a day that you can't. You said no. He put you on the schedule anyway. What do you do?  In other relationships we might encounter this by people saying: "I already told X that you would do that" or somebody sending out an e-mail out to everybody stating you offered your help.

People who won't respect a no count on the fact that we are too afraid to make a fuss, too scared to stand our ground and that we will fold if they pretend not to hear our no. They count on the fact that we don't want to make them look foolish or ourselves bad. However it's not bad to do what is right for us. And if somebody in authority misuses that authority it's time to find another job or to complain to a higher up.

Boundary testing: not respecting valid reasons
Suppose that you are being asked to come to a family BBQ, but that day simply won't work for you. You have to work late, you are near the end of an important deadline and you are exhausted. So you are sad that you will miss it and you think that if you just explain why, your mother is going to understand.

Only instead of saying: "Too bad, hope to see you another time", she starts to test how firm your boundary is. She might tell you that you need to keep your family close, that your work life balance is rotten, that your little niece is so looking forward to seeing you etc. etc. Every argument or guilt trip makes you feel upset, but.. will it make you waver on your boundary, that your choice is to skip this event?

If we do let ourselves be guilt tripped or manipulated into choices that aren't right for us, we are teaching people that if they just test our boundaries, just push and push and push, we give in. So, stand your ground. Hang up, walk away or start repeating the same answer over and over (I'm not coming this time). If your no stays a no, the boundary testing will become less in time as people notice that you won't be persuaded into a yes.

Boundary testing: getting you to argue
Another hurtful way of testing your boundaries is to try to get you into a discussion or argument. Suppose you said you wouldn't do something and instead of accepting that the other person makes disparaging remarks about your character or the way you behaved.

You might feel obligated to defend yourself, your reasons and your decisions. They are hoping that they can make you relent, that they can find a chink in your armor and often also feel happy that they get you upset or worked up.

The best way to keep these boundary testers at bay is to let go of the need to have the last word. Just let them argue into thin air while you do what's right for you. You don't need their support, understanding or cooperation, so don't seek it.

Trouble keeping your boundaries strong or want to share a story? Post a comment on the blog or on the Facebook Fan Page. Send me an e-mail or talk to me in the practice.
Dear People,

We all have times in which we feel a bit flat and uninspired. Inspiration is a joyful state in which we find solutions to help us accomplish goals and promote growth and changes in our lives. It's quite annoying when it's missing when we need it; for example when we are looking for that perfect gift. So today I wrote some affirmations on how to invite more inspiration into our lives.

I write my affirmations in different levels so you can see what resonates with you and what you want to work on. You might start with a lower level that resonates and then move your way up.

Pick and choose what works for you and affirm away (I recommend three times a day if you can manage it).

I choose to be open to inspiration
I choose to take the time to be inspired
I choose to let my senses inspire me
I choose to let my mind inspire me
I choose to let my guides inspire me
I choose to let my angels inspire me
I choose to let my soul inspire me
I choose to let God inspire me

I can stay inspired for long stretches of time
I can easily achieve a state of inspiration
I can easily prolong a state of inspiration
I can easily get in touch with my inspiration
I can be easily inspired

I enjoy how my inspiration brings joy
I enjoy how my inspiration brings solutions
I enjoy how my inspiration brings growth
I enjoy how my inspiration brings positive change
I enjoy all inspiration

I embrace my inspiration
I embrace divine inspiration
I embrace all inspiration

Have an affirmation you want to share? Don't hesitate to post it in a comment on the blog or on the Facebook Fan Page. You can also share your affirmation stories in the practice, by e-mail or publicly online.

Dear People,

Addiction is a serious issue, so I wouldn't recommend using some EFT sentences yourself without any support. Addiction often has far reaching consequences and a lot of underlying pain and misery. So mishandling addiction can have serious consequences.

However, it's often hard to ask for help when you struggle with an addiction and besides addictions with far reaching consequences (drug, alcohol etc.), there are also other addictions (internet, smoking, overworking, phone games etc.) which can free up a lot of energy when we work on them. So a word of advice: if you have a far reaching addiction, seek help as soon as possible.

Dealing with the struggle
Even though I struggle with this addiction, I (choose to) love and accept myself
Even though I sometimes fail to deal correctly with my addiction, I love and accept myself
Even though I sometimes make the wrong choices concerning my addiction, I love and accept myself 
Even though I hate struggling with this addiction, I love and accept myself
Even though I'm frustrated with the struggle, I move forward easily
Even though I'm angry that I'm struggling, I forgive myself
Accepting yourself
Even though I hate that I have an addiction, I accept myself
Even though I hate that sometimes I can't stop myself, I accept myself
Even though I hate that I make the wrong choices, I accept myself
Even though I hate the consequences of my wrong choices, I accept myself
Even though I hate what this addiction has done to me, I accept myself 
Even though I hate the damage that my addiction does, I accept myself
Even though I hate the damage that has been done, I accept myself and my past
Even though I want to pretend nothing is wrong, I accept myself and face the truth

Addiction itself
Even though I hate my addiction, I choose to learn why I have this problem
Even though I want to run from my addiction, I choose to face my issues
Even though I want to ignore my addiction, I choose to take positive steps towards healing
Even though I desperately want this addiction gone, I choose to learn my lessons and move on permanently
Even though I want to forget about this addiction, I choose to confront it
Even though facing my addiction is hard, I choose to do so

Healing
Even though it feels I have to beat this addiction alone, I'm open to receiving help
Even though it feels like this addiction can't heal, I'm open to healing it completely
Even though it feels like I will be stuck with this addiction forever, I'm open to letting it go

Want to chat about addiction or share your own story? Post a message on the blog, Facebook Fan Page or e-mail me for a personalized EFT sentence!

Dear People,

It's no secret that a lot of us have problems letting go. Yet holding on to things, people or patterns that don't suit us anymore is a negative influence in our life. Mostly when letting go we focus on that negativity to 'convince' ourselves or we try to force ourselves to move on. Today I'm going to talk about a positive way to let go; through gratefulness.

Gratefulness in Letting go of things
The easiest way to let gratefulness in is if you want to let go of something that has served you for a long time, but isn't right for you any more. Maybe it's that favorite dress that you really should throw out or it's that necklace that you loved as a young teen but doesn't fit your style anymore. Or that hobby you used to love, but now don't really feel that connected too anymore.

If we would keep all the things that we feel sentimental about, our homes would overflow fast. Yes, it can be hard to let go of things, but by practicing gratefulness we can let go of them easier. If you still feel you can't let go of it after this exercise, you can also consider taking a photo or keep a small part as a memento.

Exercise
  1. Hold on to the thing you want to let go of
  2. You can touch, smell, hug the item while doing this exercise
  3. Replay in your mind all the beautiful memories you have with this item
  4. Sit quietly for a while with this item 
  5. Thank this item for the role it has played in  your life
  6. Put this item gently way - maybe in a pile to donate or to throw out
  7. Take a deep breath and say I release this item in gratitude
Gratefulness in Letting go by learning the lesson
Sometimes it's very hard to go of our negativity. We stay angry, we keep being in a tantrum because of 'unfairness' or we keep getting stuck in the same pattern that has negative consequences for us. It's pretty hard to let go of this as most of us just want the other person or the situation to change.

Since we have no control over that but we can deal with our own feelings, the healthy solution is to do that and let go. Letting go again, can be done on focusing on the emotions surrounding the situation, but we can also use our soul knowledge to learn the lesson and move on.

Exercise
  1. Ask your soul wisdom to shine a light on the situation
  2. Gently breath in and out
  3. Put your thoughts towards the situation
  4. Ask gently: "What is my lesson in this?"
  5. Listen to the answer and allow it's positive nature to help you grow
  6. Thank this situation for the role it played in your life
  7. Take a deep breath and say I release this situation in gratitude
If you don't get a positive answer, please keep on asking what the lesson is. A lesson is always positive, it's to help us grow as people and to show us our strengths and weaknesses. If you get a negative answer, it's often our ego that fills in the blanks or our emotions or fears.

Want to share your letting go story? Post a message to the blog, Facebook Fan Page or e-mail me.
Dear People,

Sensitivity is a two edged sword. Sometimes I have people in my practice who lament that they aren't sensitive enough: they miss the soft cues of their intuition, social circle and body and receive harsh wake up calls as a result. Other people lament that they are too sensitive and have trouble handling second hand items, social situations or have a lot of physical problems. Affirm away to help you reach the right amount of sensitivity or help you deal with the amount of sensitivity that you have.

I write my affirmations in different levels so you can see what resonates with you and what you want to work on. You might start with a lower level that resonates and then move your way up.

Pick and choose what works for you and affirm away (I recommend three times a day if you can manage it).

I can (easily) handle being sensitive to myself
I can (easily) handle being sensitive to others
I can (easily) handle being sensitive to emotions
I can (easily) handle being sensitive to energy
I can (easily) handle being sensitive
I welcome the right level of sensitivity
I (easily) deal with my level of sensitivity

I choose to be sensitive to my needs
I choose to be sensitive to my wants
I choose to be sensitive to my intuition
I choose to be sensitive to my guides
I choose to be sensitive to others
I choose to be sensitive to myself
I choose to be sensitive to the world
I choose to be sensitive to the earth
I choose to be sensitive to the environment

I choose to deal easily with the perceived downsides of being sensitive
I choose to see the positives in my sensitivity
I choose to make my sensitivity an asset in my life

Have an affirmation you want to share? Don't hesitate to post it in a comment on the blog or on the Facebook Fan Page. You can also share your affirmation stories in the practice, by e-mail or publicly online.

Dear People,

Often I have people in the practice who feel trapped after years of setting aside their wants and needs to help others or to do what they've been told 'they should be doing' to be a good person. They have lost touch with their own inner guidance and feel overwhelmed, overburdened and emotionless. Questions like: "What would you really want to do?" are impossible to answer for them. Discouraged they try to find an answer outside of themselves, but that doesn't give the best results. Even if you don't recognize yourself in this description the interview style exercise might still help you find out more about yourself.

Finding yourself interview style
Don't worry if you have trouble answering some of these questions, if you were doing a true interview, the person you were interviewing might have difficulties too. The purpose of an exercise like this is to get your thoughts and ideas flowing and to see if you can find common denominators in your answers. You might also find more questions within yourself based on these and answer those as well.

It can also help to do this interview with a trusted friend and help each other out. You can of course skip questions you don't like.

Background questions
What's your name?
What is your age?
What is your occupation?

Childhood
How would you describe your childhood?
What is your favorite childhood memory?
What is is your least favorite childhood memory?
What do you miss from your childhood?

Young Adulthood
What plans did you have as a teenager?
What dreams did you have as a teenager? 
What did you want to do do/become?
What mattered to you the most during those years?

Life
If your life was a book, what title would it have?
If your life was a movie, what genre would it be?
If your life was a song, what kind of emotion would it evoke?
If you could write sequels of your life, what would be in it?

Social
How would your friends describe you?
On what points do you agree with them?
On what points do you disagree with them?
What do your friends have in common with each other?
What do you appreciate in your friends?

Changes
If you could change one thing about your life, what would it be?
What have you done to make changes in that area of your life?
If you could change one thing in your past, what would it be?
What have you learned from that experience?
If you could change one thing in your family, what would it be?
If you could change one thing in your job, what would it be?
If you could change one thing about your body, what would it be?

Additions
If you had more money, would you be happier? What would you spend it on?
If you had more time, would you be happier? What would you spend it on?
If you had more energy, would you be happier? What would you spend it on?
If you have more hobby's, would you be happier? What kind of hobbies would they be?
If you had more friends, would you be happier? What kind of friends would they be?
If you could add one character trait, what would it be? How would that change your life?

Removals
If you could remove something from your life, what would it be?
If you could remove someone from your life, who would it be? Any more people you'd like to remove?
If you could remove character traits, what would you remove in yourself? In your spouse/father/mother/friends?

Want to talk about your answers? Post a message to the blog, Facebook Fan Page or e-mail me.
Dear People,

Anger and disappointment can be confused with one another. Some people are afraid to say they are angry and instead will say they are disappointed. However, true disappointment can feel soul crushingly sad and can keep us from trying for things we truly want, so that's why it's the topic for today.

Allowing disappointment
Even though I want to feel happy, I choose to feel my sadness/disappointment
Even though I want to run away from disappointed feelings, I allow myself to feel
Even though I don't like to be disappointed in myself, I allow myself to feel it
Even though I don't like to be disappointed in others, I allow myself to feel it

Moving past disappointment
Even though I can be disappointed, I still ask for what I need
Even though I can be disappointed, I still ask for what I want
Even though I think I might be disappointed, I still move forward
Even though I fear I might be disappointed, I still move forward
Even though I feel I might be disappointed, I still move forward
Even though I have been disappointed before, I choose to ask
Even though I have been disappointed before by X, I choose to ask them again
Even though I feel sad/heart broken because I'm disappointed, I choose to process my feelings
Even though I feel upset because I'm disappointed, I choose to process my feelings

Normalizing disappointment
Even though I don't like to be disappointed, I acknowledge it's a part of life
Even though I don't like to disappoint others, I know disappointment can't be avoided
Even though I don't like disappointment, I choose to learn from it
Even though I don't like to deal with disappointment, I choose to learn from it
Even though I want to minimize my disappointment, I choose to acknowledge and learn
Stuck in sad and disappointed feelings that keep you from moving forward?

Post a message on the blog, Facebook Fan Page or e-mail me for a personalized EFT sentence!

Dear People,

For a lot of us, it's hard to relax. Our lives are busy, our bodies feel the stress and it seems like there is never a 'break' or a time to sit down. So what better thing to do besides finding some space for yourself then to do some affirmations to help put you in the right mindset?

I write my affirmations in different levels so you can see what resonates with you and what you want to work on. You might start with a lower level that resonates and then move your way up.

Pick and choose what works for you and affirm away (I recommend three times a day if you can manage it).

I choose to find time to relax
I choose to find time to relax my body
I choose to find time to relax my mind
I choose to find time to feel relaxed
I choose to give the priority to relaxation that it deserves
I choose to take a break sometimes

I take the time to foster relaxation in my life
I take the time to de-stress
I take the time to de-stress my body
I take the time to de-stress my mind

Even when busy, I feel relaxed
Even when emotional, I feel relaxed
Even when worried, I feel relaxed
I deserve to relax no matter the circumstances
I deserve full relaxation no matter the circumstances
I feel fully relaxed no matter the circumstances
I fully relax my body no matter the circumstances
I fully relax my mind no matter the circumstances
I am the calm in the storm
I am the center in the tornado
Relaxation is an important priority
Relaxation is a need

Have an affirmation you want to share? Don't hesitate to post it in a comment on the blog or on the Facebook Fan Page. You can also share your affirmation stories in the practice, by e-mail or publicly online.  

Dear People,

One of the things you might catch yourself saying often is that you will do a task "in just a moment", but that moment never comes. You are busy, you are tired, you think you can do it tomorrow, but that tomorrow never seems to come. For some of us, this is a question of us delaying doing what is necessary, but for others, it's incorrect time management. Today I'm talking about only the second, as I've wrote a blog post already to help with procrastination: Taking Care of Future You.

Why we always have too many tasks
We like to feel productive so it's usually very tempting to add more and more tasks to our day. To say yes to requests from others or any thing that pops in our mind that we want to do. Often, we underestimate the time it takes to do tasks. So when the end of the day nears, the end of our list of things we wanted to do, didn't. The next day, we are up against the same mountain of work and it's likely that we will add more onto it.

Adding a task
When we say things will 'just take a moment' it means we think we can easily add it, but all the little moments add up. And often, what we say just takes a moment, costs us much more then that. A small tasks we would do immediately after all.

If we only look carefully how much work a certain tasks is going to be, we'd get a healthier outlook. A lot of things aren't then automatically put in the: "will do in the weekend" or "will do later"-pile. It forces us to plan when we will do things, write them down (so we don't forget) and consider our work load.

It also means that we need to prioritize whenever we add a new task. If it doesn't fit (which will happen often), we have to choose what is most important to us.

Removing or combining tasks
When we have a set pattern, we often don't think about tasks that we do. It's normal to brush our teeth, make our breakfast, dress and shower. Still, there might be a little time we can win by combining old and new tasks or by removing tasks that no longer serve us.

Regularly check your time management to see if you need to remove habits/tasks. You might find yourself aimlessly on social media or watching tv, while you are dying to exercise more or watch a documentary to learn something new. Often we have time sink habits that don't really bring us anything.

Time management exercise
This exercise contains two distinct lists, but you can combine them in the same notebook. If you are stressed for time, usually the first list is no problem, but the second is more time intensive. However, even giving a general view instead of an hourly update on that list will help you see what you do with your time.

List 1: Keeping a task list
On this list, keep all the tasks you plan to do. Whenever you say: "I'll fix that, I do that in just a moment or sure, I'll help", add the task to the list. If a task is done, remove it from the list. Keeping this list helps you keep your promises and also helps you see how heavy your work load is. We are less likely to overextend ourselves, if we know that our schedule is stuffed already.

List 2: Keeping an activity list
Just for a week, try to write down what you do every hour or if you can manage even every half hour. This way you can see where your time actually goes. Keeping yourself accountable also means that it's more difficult to spend hours watching tv. You can also write down at which times you feel most productive.


Have a time management tip to share or want to get a better grip on your own habits? Post a message on the blog, Facebook Fan Page or write me an e-mail.
Dear People,

Anger is an emotion we all struggle with sometimes. While it's a useful signal that something needs to change, sometimes we can't seem to let go of it, even if we want to move past a situation, a transgression or want to forgive a person. EFT is wonderful in letting go of these emotions and cleansing your energy field. Even if you think you aren't angry anymore, it can pay off to work through old situations to see what can be freed. You might surprise yourself.

Releasing old anger
Even though I'm still angry about my past, I choose to forgive and move on.
Even though I'm still angry with person X, I choose to forgive and move on.
Even though I'm still angry about what happened with Y, I choose to forgive and move on.
Even though I still feel X was unfair, I choose to forgive and move on.
Even though I still feel old anger, I choose to release it and move on.x

Unresolved anger
Even though I have unresolved anger, I know I have to learn the lesson and move on.
Even though I don't want to let go of my anger, I know I deserve peace.
Even though I know situation X isn't resolved, I can choose to let of my anger.
Even though I don't know how to resolve situation X, I can choose to let go of my anger.
Even though I don't want to forgive, I can choose to let go of my anger.
Even though I don't want to process my anger, I choose to do so anyway.
Even though I don't want to move past my anger, I choose to do so anyway.

Understanding anger 
Even though I'm irritated by small things, I take steps to make sure they don't grow.
Even though I'm only irritated, I deal with it in an appropriate way.
Even though I'm frustrated, I let go and move towards a solution.
Even though I don't like feeling anger, I accept that my boundary has been breached.
Even though feeling angry might temporarily feel good, I know that I need to let go of my anger.
Even though anger might feel good, I know keeping my anger is harmful so I let it go.
Even though anger can be painful, I choose to understand the lesson and move on.
Even though anger might be upsetting, I choose to learn from my anger.

Stuck in angry feelings that keep you from moving forward? Post a message on the blog, Facebook Fan Page or e-mail me for a personalized EFT sentence!

Dear People,

We often desperately want other people to understand us. Understanding can foster a lot of positivity: tolerance, support, approval, acceptance etc. We might not receive these rewards, but still understanding is a wonderful thing to strive for. Not only from others, but also from ourselves. The world would be a better place if we are all a bit more understanding.

I write my affirmations in 3 different levels so you can see what resonates with you and what you want to work on.

Pick and choose what works for you and affirm away (I recommend three times a day if you can manage it).

I choose to learn to understand myself
I choose to understand my weak points
I choose to understand my emotions
I choose to understand my body
I choose to understand my needs
I choose to understand my wishes
I choose to understand my goals

I choose to listen to others
I choose to listen to others without judgement
I choose to listen to others quietly
I choose to listen to others with an open heart

I take the time to foster understanding between me and X
I take the time to foster understanding
I take the time/make the effort to help X understand me
I take the time/make the effort to help other people understand me
I take the time/make the effort to help everybody understand me

I see the rewards of fostering understanding
I feel the rewards of fostering understanding
I enjoy the rewards of understanding

Have an affirmation you want to share? Don't hesitate to post it in a comment on the blog or on the Facebook Fan Page. You can also share your affirmation stories in the practice, by e-mail or publicly online.  

Dear People,

We often want to do more then our bodies can handle - so they are our own natural boundaries. We need to eat, sleep and relax to keep healthy and energetic. This often means that we need to stop what we want to do or our body will stop us. This can be hard to accept, especially when people aren't healthy and have even stricter boundaries.

Boundary Acceptance
Since our boundaries are hard to accept, it's often becomes a struggle between what we want and what our body needs. Often people who have stricter boundaries feel that healthy people have none, but that's definitely not true. Even fit healthy people have slow days and need to eat, rest and sleep.

For all of us, to put aside what we want and work with what is needed, is a hard thing to do at first. Once we accept that boundaries teach us also what is important in our lives, what we prioritize and that without them, we'd probably have a hard time living, it becomes easier.

When we stop the angry, disappointed and critical voice towards our body and work with it, the health benefits are many and help us create heaven on earth for ourselves.

Exercise: Loving your body
  • Close your eyes
  • Start by feeling loving energy within your heart
  • Allow that energy to slowly encompass all of your body
  • See how that energy goes and feeds upon each other until you have enough to fill the whole universe
  • Go with your thoughts to the body parts you have trouble with and gently say: "I love my... "
  • Spend some time soaking in all the loving energy
  • Open your eyes
  • Ground yourself or eat a snack
If you have trouble generating enough loving energy from your heart, you can also imagine loving energy from others reaching you in your heart chakra or universal love reaching you through your crown chakra and spread the love from there.

Want to work on boundary and body acceptance? Send me a comment through the Blog, Facebook Fan Page or e-mail me.
Dear People,

Pain should be a healthy signal that something isn't right for us or that something needs to be resolved. However, a lot of people try to suppress painful feelings because they don't want to deal with them. So they stay in painful relationships and situations or continue ignoring painful issues. Confronting your pain isn't a happy joyful thing, but it becomes easier if you do it more often and the results are worth it. Solving your pain will grant you great happiness, ease and peace in your life. So, today I've made some EFT sentences to help with confronting pain.

Pain as a healthy signal
Even though I feel painful feelings, I choose to acknowledge my pain.
Even though I have painful thoughts, I choose to acknowledge my pain.
Even though I feel uncomfortable, I choose to acknowledge my pain.
Even though I rather run from my pain, I know I should process this healthy signal.

Confronting pain
Even though I just want to ignore this pain, I know I have to confront it.
Even though I just want to run from my pain, I know I'm responsible for learning the lesson.
Even though the pain feels overwhelming, I know I can deal with this pain.
Even though I don't see a solution for this pain, I'm willing to listen to myself.
Even though I don't know a solution for this pain, I'm willing to search for one.

Working through pain
Even though I have this painful feeling (disappointment, sadness, anger etc.), I choose to acknowledge and let go.
Even though I have this painful feeling, I choose to forgive myself.
Even though I have this painful feeling, I choose to forgive everybody.
Even though I would like to bury this pain, I choose to work through it.
Even though I would like to hide this pain, I choose to open my heart and mind.
Even though my ego might keep me from acknowledging this pain, I choose to align myself with my highest good.

Stuck in painful feelings that keep you from making healthy choices or moving forward? Post a message on the blog, Facebook Fan Page or e-mail me for a personalized EFT sentence!
Dear People,

Time for some more affirmations to release the old things in our lives, energy fields and habits that don't fit us anymore. It's often a little bit sad to let go or even difficult when the time for some things has passed. We often try to hang on, but this places a burden on our happiness. I write my affirmations in 3 different levels so you can see what resonates with you and what you want to work on.

Pick and choose what works for you and affirm away (I recommend three times a day if you can manage it).

I am willing to release
I am willing to release hobby's that aren't right for me anymore
I am willing to release activities that aren't right for me anymore
I am willing to release connections/people who aren't right for me anymoreI am willing to release habits that aren't right for me anymore

I release my (old) anger
I release my (old) disappointments
I release my (old) sadness
I release my (old) pain
I gently release (old emotions) and move towards peace
I release wrongness to be at peace 
I release wrongness to be at peace with myself and the whole world

I easily release my stress
I easily release what doesn't serve me
I easily release the old

I release easily
I release easily and gently
I release joyfully

Have an affirmation you want to share? Don't hesitate to post it in a comment on the blog or on the Facebook Fan Page. You can also share your affirmation stories in the practice, by e-mail or publicly online.  
Dear People,

Every day time passes us by and often it feels like it flies by, so why not use it to help us heal?
Each season has important lessons to teach us if we look at nature and it's cycles. It's a bit harder I feel to use natural cycles as the weather is often not what we expect, so energy might feel different or shifted. However, the seasons will always keep coming and going.

Why work with the seasons
I personally love to have season themed decor in my house, so I can keep in line with the seasons and their energies. It's very easy to fall into only celebrating the new and never the old, only working on adding things and never remove things and only feeling accomplished at the end of something and while walking on the journey.

Working with the seasons helps me to achieve a better balance in my life. I've written a some small ideas on each of the seasons so you can do some work with them too.

Spring
Spring is all about the new entering your life and airing out what has gotten stuck from the previous year. Spring cleaning is literally cleaning up your space, but you can also use it clean up your energy field, visualize and meditate on new things you need and using spring energy to revitalize yourself.

If you need spring energy in another season for your project or goal, because you need a new beginning, use the colors of spring (light greens, light yellow etc.), the scents of spring (light floral scents) and spring symbols (little birds, bunnies, butterflies, flowers etc.).


Summer
Summer is a time of warmth, so extra energy is easier to get due to longer daylight hours and more sun energy. It's the time of year that gives us a social boost as we want to connect more and often chat longer. The perfect time to work on issues that you need more energy for, to work on unfinished business and to relax and recharge in the sun.

If you need summer energy in another season for your project or goal, because you need more energy, warmth or fun, use the colors of summer (darker yellow, blue, green colors and floral colors), the scents of summer (seaside scents, heavier flower scents like jasmine) and summer symbols (sun, cocktails, sunflowers, travel symbols etc.) 

Fall
Fall sees us often looking at things that are dying off and need to be released. It's a time for reflection and peace. It's that time that helps us remember that we are in a cycle, because the leaves are falling, but also rewards come due in the form of many fruits and vegetables. What rewards can we reap and what didn't do so well? An energy to use for reflection.

If you need fall energy in another season for your project or goal, because you need to taste the rewards or refocus on what works, use the colors of fall (orange, browns, yellows), the scents of fall (pumpkin, grape and other fall fruit) and fall symbols (falling leaves, pumpkins, wine etc.)

Winter
Winter is all about surviving the cold and the dark by being wise with your energy and keeping in line with your strength. If you always have difficult winter seasons (depression, colds etc.) make sure you stock up on extra sun in the summer or arrange a getaway during the winter season towards the sun. It's cold and darkness however also helps us to be grateful for light and for each other.

If you need winter energy in another season for your project or goal, because you need to learn to wait patiently or keep things going in the background, use the colors of winter (white, gold, silvers), the scents of winter (cinnamon, warmed spices, and food scents) and winter symbols (snow flakes, snow etc.)

Want to chat about your habits around the seasons? Post a comment on the Blog, Facebook Fan Page or talk to me in the practice.