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Thoughts on Healing: Emphatic Trap of Dismissing



By  Rianne Collignon     13:35    Labels:, 
Dear People,

I meet a lot of people in my practice who are deeply sensitive and emphatic. Being emphatic is a lovely trait and it can really uplift your life. It’s easy for you to be spread love, connect to others and deepen wisdom. On the other end Empathic people often fall in the trap of dismissing their own feelings, wants, needs and desires.

When you are empathic on a deep level, emotions of other people will be felt deeply as well. If your energy field is strong, you will not receive the emotional energy of others. If it’s weakened by lack of self-care, illness or other reasons, you might notice yourself starting to cry even when you aren’t that sad, stay angry or frustrated and not knowing way and feeling this emotional energy of others.

I help people strengthen their field, because while it’s lovely to be empathic, we should not be sponges and suck up all emotional energy. It’s not ours and it will deplete your own energy, make you feel tired or have you thinking that you have really mercurial moods.

Emphatic people should be able to look into the pool and see what’s going on emotionally, without falling into it and drowning in emotion. I teach different techniques to help recognize which emotions are ours, how to release other people’s emotions and how to make sure you aren’t drowning.

However, sometimes empathic people will choose to ignore their own feelings in favor of other people’s feelings. Somebody might make a request of them and they feel the desire, pain or loss, and want to step up and fulfil this request, regardless of the costs. While you can’t reduce the strength of emotions of what the other person gives out, we can choose to reduce ours. If we do so, it’s often because we repress or dismiss our own emotions.

This type of sacrifice of ourselves diminishes us and it will cause much more problems down the road. Sacrifice means that it looks like things are going better, because the other person is happy, but there is no net gain. What the other person gains, we lose (else it wouldn’t be a sacrifice!). On top of that, our resentment and anger and having to sacrifice will come back to the surface one way or another. That means that even this temporary gain will most likely end up in a loss.

Empathic people often feel taken advantage off, but when we look honestly, it’s us that choose to ignore ourselves. So what to do about it? When you are mindful of what happens when you do this, it becomes easier to stop doing it. When you recognize the idea: “Another persons emergency isn’t always mine”, it helps to keep some emotional distance. When you remember that it might feel very dire, but that doesn’t mean it actually is.

If you still have a choice to see what needs to be done or are considering doing something, this following exercise is a good way to stay with yourself and out of sacrifice.

Exercise Acknowledge all Feelings
  • Take two sheets and a pen and make sure you have around 15 minutes uninterrupted time.
  • On the first sheet, write down all the feelings of the other person involved in the situation. Write down the emotions as big as you feel them, so PAIN might be capitalized or written on half the page.
  • On the second sheet, start writing down your own emotions, also writing them down as big as you feel them.

You might notice that it’s much easier to write down the emotions of the other person, if this is the case, that means that much of your energy is direct at or even in the other persons energy field. That’s not the way it should be, so ask Heaven, your Guides, your High Self or any other Spiritual ally to bring back your energy to yourself.

Now that your energy is with yourself where it belongs, look over your own sheet. Place a hand on the sheet and the other hand on your heart. Acknowledge each of the feelings that are written down. You can literally say: “I acknowledge my sadness” or just name the feelings. As you name them bit by bit, you might feel that some of them transform. When we spend time with our feelings we recognise their messages and then we can easily let them go. You might recognise why you feel these feelings particular or how this situation reminds you of the past.

After you have acknowledged your feelings, gently release the paper in the way you see fit. You might want to burn it, recycle it, tear it into pieces. Do the same with the other sheet. The way forwards should be clear now, but if not, ask your Spiritual ally to resolve this situation towards everybody’s highest good. Be mindful of what your intuition tells you in the next couple of days.

Want to chat about your empathic gifts or ask for advice? Don't hesitate to post it in a comment on the blog or on the Facebook Fan Page. You can also share your stories or questions in the practice, by e-mail or publicly online.

About Rianne Collignon

Psychic Healer Rianne Collignon helps people in her practice Hart en Ziel (Heart and Soul) in Delft, The Netherlands with solutions, advice and support. In addition to private sessions (also available through Skype, phone and by e-mail) she runs workshops, training and detox programs and courses. These are also available online in Dutch through Hart en Ziel Educatie (Heart and Soul Education).
At Hart en Ziel Zakelijk (Heart and Soul Business) companies can request business reports, training sessions and staff parties to grow and profit in a spiritual way.

Call +31 610521351 for more information on business days between 7pm-8pm, send an e-mail, follow on social media (Facebook Fan Page, here on the blog, YouTube and LinkedIn) or check out the website: http://www.hartenziel-online.nl

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